Archive for War

11 Shit Things That Make Share-House Living Suck – #8

Posted in 11 Shit Things That Make Share-house Living Suck. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2008 by Buck Frain

#8. Power, Politics & Paranoia

Someone much wiser and more educated than me once said Everything is political, they were bloody well right too! Even the most politically apathetic, socially recalcitrant house-mate will become a political animal once placed in the share-house arena, in fact they’ll probably be the absolute worst, grubbing around for every little piece of leverage they can get.

 

There are many different types of political animal to be found in share-houses. I’m sure you’ve met a great many of them. The annoying shit-stirrers, painful meeting-obsessed peace-makers, militant law-makers, to name but a few. Then there are the innumerable games they play and the territories they try to annex to mark out their power base in the house so they can feel at home. Ownership of the remote control, occupation of the couch, rights over the stereo, responsibility for putting out bins. Pigs, bitches and borrowers are political positions and indicative of the ever fluctuating power dynamic of the share-house.

 

Whether you like it or not you’ll play the game. It’s impossible to avoid unless you want to be the bitch. Guys play different to girls, singles play different to couples but everyone plays.

 

Power, or Hand is what they all want. It makes life easier. The great thing about having Hand is that you rarely have to use it. A look is enough. A raised eyebrow or a carefully understated turn of phrase has the other player tying themselves in knots to avoid a conflict they can’t win. But Hand is a fickle mistress. She has to be maintained and can be very easily lost. One night where you get so drunk you wake up in the hallway without pants can end your political reign in a house. Or not – just like in real politics, if you can spin the facts in your own favour you may walk away with more respect than you had to start with.

 

In an enlightened household where mutual respect is the going currency the need for this struggle for Hand is minimal and everyone can relax, unfortunately, such households are generally regarded as fictional. The share-house is not like a home, it’s more like a battlefield. It’s all about survival and your enemies are everywhere, smiling like dirty bastards and then stealthily sticking passive-aggressive notes to the fridge as soon as no-one’s looking.

 

I don’t like aggression, especially at home, it’s unnecessary and crude. Passive-aggression, though, really gives me the right royal cunt. There is nothing more fucked in the entire universe than the smug, cowardly shitfulness that passive-aggressive people ooze out onto the rest of humanity. Just be up-front and honest! I don’t mind people getting the massive screaming shits with me but I cunting well hate passive-aggression with a vengeance. If I was ever to murder someone it would probably be because of some smarmy passive-aggressive piece of skullfuckery. Unfortunately, whilst murdering people is relatively easy, getting away with it is not and the authorities seem to take a pretty dim view of it even when there’s compelling evidence that society is better off as a result.

 

So what’s to do? I could fight back, honest aggression style, I could fight back like a dog-felching-passive-aggressive wank-stain, but fighting leads to a win-lose situation that may not be stacked in my favour. What if I’m not tough enough to win on aggression? What if I’m not enough of a douche-bag to win the passive-aggressive-I-wish-I-was-Oscar-Wilde-cunty-shit-eater game? Guess I’d just have to take the loss, huh? You’d think that, wouldn’t you? You’d probably be able to go back through all those previous house-mate battles and count up all the victories where you had Hand, wouldn’t you? Yeah, that prick just had to fuckin’ wear it, ha ha! And maybe you’d be right. Maybe your adversary walked away with his tail between his legs and took the loss like an honourable man. Hmm…honour…there’s the rub. If honour were present we wouldn’t really have this problem in the first place. Never underestimate your opponent, and never, ever fuck with a coward!

 

Remember your toothbrush. Remember where it is. How vulnerable and alone it is when you’re not around. Remember all the dirty things in its immediate vicinity. Have you ever brushed your teeth and thought your toothbrush tasted funny but shuffled the thought away with a rationalisation like: It’s winter…it’s damp…the air doesn’t circulate in here. What lies have you told yourself so you didn’t have to acknowledge that your toothbrush may have visited the toilet? That your toothbrush may have been pissed on? That it may have been up the cat’s bum? Because it may have. It’s conceiveable – when did you last see the cat? But, no, how pissed off would someone have to be to do that? Maybe a lot…hmmm, maybe not so much – how widely hated is the cat? There are many areas where you are vulnerable to a terrorist attack by the people you live with. Yes, a terrorist attack. Terror is the only response available to the oppressed so think about it. If someone dunked their nob into your cottage cheese and stirred it around a bit, then put the cottage cheese back in the fridge – would you know? In a world without honour, how much Hand do you really have?

Miley Vs. G-Bay – This Week In The News

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 3, 2008 by Buck Frain

With all the pants-pissing over Miley Cyrus’ Vanity Fair pics, some real news all but escaped notice in the west.

 

Sami al-Haj, a Sudanese cameraman for Al-Jazeera, was released from the U.S. concentration camp at Guantanamo Bay after spending 6 years, the last 16 months of which he was on hunger strike, without charge. This man was a journalist, a reporter, imprisoned for no reason other than the fact that he was a muslim reporting on U.S. human rights violations in Afghanistan in 2001. He was never alleged to have hurt anyone nor proven to have engaged in any unlawful behaviour, however he was imprisoned, without trial or charge, tortured and deprived of the most basic human rights afforded even the most vicious rapists and murderers. For 6 years. The U.S. government still will not admit that they’ve let him go, they simply say that they have “transferred” the prisoner to his own government. The Sudanese authorities have politely indicated that they see no reason (other than his health) why he cannot return to his previous life.

 

The USA prides itself of being a paragon of virtue and freedom and yet is guilty of some of the most abhorrent human rights abuses seen in recent times. It will quickly jump to condemn other nations or groups for their transgressions but appears completely untouchable itself when committing the same and worse offences. Don’t worry, I’m not just America-bashing, John Howard’s Australia was a perversely willing accomplice to the international crimes of the United States, even when those crimes were perpetrated against one of our own citizens, David Hicks. Hicks rotted in Guantanamo for 6 years before finally being broken to confessing crimes in a desperate effort to get out. Physically and mentally devastated, he returned home a criminal to serve more prison time, and legally gagged from ever talking about elements of his ordeal. Australia could have secured his release instantly simply by asking for him back. John Howard flatly refused say a word until 51% of the population of Australia demanded he do something. But this is not news.

 

Guantanamo Bay is not news, Miley Cyrus is. The citizens of Australia, the UK and the USA are happy to be scandalised by seductive photos of a near-naked 15 year-old. We can safely fear the sexualisation of our children and suspect our menfolk of paedophilia (it’s a great photo). We can rail against the parents who pimp their children to the entertainment industry and we can be fucked off with Billy Ray Cyrus because we fucking hated Achey Breaky Heart and hoped we’d never see the lousy shit-sack ever again. The reason this is safe news and these are safe fears is because they don’t require we think about the fact that the values that underpin our societies have been abandoned. Our governments engage in illegal wars and routinely flout the values they extol. They are the worst possible kinds of criminals, hypocrites and evil-doers, perpetrating hideous crimes against humanity for financial gain thinly disguised as moral imperative. We have become the world’s bad guys. By continuing to support these democratically elected monsters we have become the bad guys. That’s just a bit too much to deal with, isn’t it? She’s hot, am I a paedo? That’s a bit easier.

 

But what happens when you do this to people? I mean, lock them up for free and torture them for years on end. What sort of person does that produce? It’s been well documented that legitimate, civilised prisons produce very angry people. What do concentration camps do? Well if you believe reports from Dubai this week, a Kuwaiti man released from Guantanamo in 2005 blew the fuck out himself and some others in a suicide bombing in Iraq recently. We can assume he wasn’t guilty of anything before going to G-Bay, because if there was even a remote possibility of his guilt he’d either still be there, or in prison, or dead. Regardless of the man’s beliefs before going to G-Bay we know he never blew himself up before. Did G-Bay produce a suicide bomber? Is Guantanamo Bay a terrorist factory?

 

I don’t know. I do know that if I was locked up for no reason, deprived of sleep, exercise or counsel. If I was held never knowing if I’d ever get out, never knowing why. If I was routinely interrogated and tortured. If this went on for years. And if then one day they let me out …I’d probably be a bit miffed. Especially if the people who locked me up still ruled the world, and if they still had all their power despite abusing it so reprehensibly…I don’t know…I might be the angriest bastard on the fuckin’ planet. I would not forgive, I would not forget and I may well dedicate the rest of my life to hurting them in any way that I could. Obviously, you can’t have a stand-up fight with a super power, they’re way too big. You have no choice but to fight dirty. I don’t know but I reckon I could be pissed off enough to blow myself to pieces if I thought I could take a couple of the cunts with me in the process.

 

I’m a big fan of life, but if I was angry enough I wouldn’t need the promise of glory in the afterlife to want to fuck people’s shit up. I’d just do it to even the scale a bit.