Archive for Terrorism

Fuck Christmas

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2014 by Buck Frain

lp

Christmas 2014 is shaping up to be the most miserable in living memory for Australia. An increasing number of Australians are taking to the streets in T-shirts declaring that they will not be celebrating Christmas at all this year as they’re saving all their party stuff until Prime Minister Tony Abbott dies.

Hatred for the PM has reached fever pitch in many parts of the country, and without a productive outlet for the rage, people are increasingly turning on the institution of Christmas as a focus for their anger. Frank Jelbart, 87, of Coonamble NSW said: “What kind of country are they running here anyway, where a fine young lad like Philip Hughes is struck down playing cricket for God’s sake and a snake like Abbott destroys the country and walks around breathing the air that mates of mine died for. Christmas be fucked this year, I’m just going to take out the 12 gauge and shoot holes in some road signs.”

Vicky Pettigrew, 44, of Happy Valley SA said: “Tony Abbott has ruined Christmas in our house this year. We get a tree each year but neither my husband, Darren, or I can even look at a Christmas tree now without imagining it on fire and stabbed right down that creepy lizard[Abbott]’s Jap-eye.” Mrs. Pettigrew, well-intentioned but a bit of a casual racist, told how the family had tried to persevere with the Christmas spirit until the couple’s thirteen year old son had replaced the traditional fairy atop the tree with a paper cut-out of the Prime Minister. “I think Ethan he thought it was funny or something but when Darren saw it he went berserk. He just dragged the whole tree out into the yard, decorations and all, doused it with two-stroke fuel and set it ablaze. He said no-one in our house would be having any fun until he [Abbott] dies.”

Similar scenes are playing out all over the country. In Mulgrave Vic, Trevor Farnsworth, 53, said the only thing he would be doing this Christmas was taking a hammer and knocking the handles off all of his 82 sporting trophies attained over 35 years of competing in a range of sports. “It’s been my life”, he wept, “but now they all just remind me of that dirty, big-eared cunt. Why can’t someone just fuckin’ kill him?”

You would be mistaken to think that the discontent stops at our sovereign borders though, interviewed at his well-hidden North Pole factory this week, the usually-jolly Santa Claus let fly about the Australian PM when asked about the down-turn in festive participation this season. “Tony Abbott is cancer in Speedos, he can get fucked! I’m not even going to Australia this year. I’m sorry kids but you can just fuck right off as long as that prick’s breathing. I’m serious! Cunt [Abbott] wants to pretend global warming doesn’t exist? I live in the fucking North Pole, bitches! Do you know how much I’ve had to spend on foundation re-flotation and sea-floor mooring just so the factory doesn’t sink into the fucking Arctic Ocean? It’s like Venice-On-Ice up here – it’s fucking bullshit – and that filthy weasel shit-fuck [Abbott] spends most of his time gobbing off Big Mining like coal’s a good fucking idea. No surprise that Tony Abbott’s death is Australia’s second most wished-for Christmas item this year, but I’ll tell you now: if you want him dead you’re going to have to do it your lazy fucking selves. I wouldn’t let Rudolph piss on that beef-jerky-looking bastard if he was on fire.

santa-mad

With the big man in red seeing red, our intrepid reporter wasn’t game to ask what the number one most wished for Christmas item was from Australia, although my money’s on having a truck-load of pineapples smashed up Scott Morrison’s arse with a sledgehammer. Whatever it is, there’s no doubt that we’ve lost our way with Christmas. Sure as cunts I can’t buggered with it! Like the kids are saying: Fuck Christmas – I’m saving all my party stuff ‘til Tony Abbott dies.

Christmas In July – Please Make Tony Abbott Die.

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2014 by Buck Frain

Dear Santa,

 

It’s been a while since I wrote to you but at this point you’re probably the only one who can help me. Seeing as Christmas In July seems to be a thing now, please find below my list. It’s not very conventional but neither is Christmas In July so I’ve attempted to go for non-commercial presents that will be of benefit to lots of people, not just to me.

 

1. Please kill Tony Abbott. No need to make him suffer. Just make him stop being alive. He’s hurting pretty much everyone. He’s happy about it. His actions benefit no-one other than handful of ultra-wealthy people who don’t really need him. He brings nothing good, kind or honest to the world, only selfishness and suffering.

2. Please kill Joe Hockey. He’s a liar and a thief. He’s lied about his family’s business interests for 14 years while he lines his pockets and now he wants the rest of us to put up with unnecessary poverty. I would accept austerity in a time of hardship but in a boom time when Australia is strong it’s empirically wrong. He’s cynically and systematically destroying middle Australia and creating suffering for millions while he and his mates live large.

3. Please kill Scott Morrison. He’s overseeing a system of illegal imprisonment, people trafficking, psychological, physical and sexual abuse, torture and murder of innocent men, women and children. People fleeing the worst horrors imaginable and seeking our help. He has them to concentration camps in the world’s least liveable places to punish them and their families for daring to seek shelter from cruelty.

4. Please kill Christopher Pyne. He’s destroying education for Australians and making it harder for anyone who’s not already rich to compete with their fellows for an equal chance to make a good life for themselves. He’s stealing the future for generations to come and he’s a smarmy little cunt as well if you don’t mind my saying so.

5. Please smack Mattias Cormann really hard, right in his box-shaped, Belgian fucking head about 50 or 60 times, really, really fucking hard. I fucking hate that prick!

 

That’s my top 5. I could go on – George Brandis, Kevin Andrews, Julie Bishop, Arthur Sinodinos, oh God there’s soooo many of them – but I know you’re busy and lots of people will be asking for things. I know I’m not perfect but I’ve been as good as I can, Santa. I haven’t killed anyone, cheated anyone or told any lies that have damaged people’s lives. Just the normal stuff like: “No, you were just a little bit tipsy, no-one took it badly, you were quite amusing.” Oh wait, well, maybe I should’ve been a bit more honest there but seriously…this is getting off topic.

I don’t want to be greedy. If you can only deliver on number 5 I’ll be massively grateful but please, please start at the top. It’s not just for me, these are gifts for all of Australians, for the whole world even. Please, Santa, please bring me Christmas in July – please make Tony Abbott die.

 

Lots of love,

Buck Frain

A Vote For Abbott Is A Vote For Al-Qaeda.

Posted in Boof-head Sporto Fuckwits, Rage Against The Machine, Random Shit That Gives Me The Cunt with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2010 by Buck Frain

It’s a big call but I’ve had a gut-full! The federal election this Saturday is vital to the future of Australia. I survived the Howard years when the ironically-named Liberal Party stomped all over public opinion and consistently fucked the little guy in order to pump up the wealthy. I watched while the majority of Australians voted them in time and time again against their own interests. I still don’t know how and I still don’t know why. I can’t go back there. I FUCKING WON’T!

I’ve heard the parrot calls of RAWK! Think of the economy. RAWK! Usually coming from ill-informed cretins who don’t realise their thoughts aren’t in any way their own and that actually they’ve got big business’ hands up their arses.

I have absolutely no faith in democracy in this country because it seems to me that the majority of Australians are complacent, apathetic, ignorant and mentally lazy. We’ve had it good for so long that we don’t feel like we have a responsibility to educate ourselves to what’s really going on and to have an opinion about it. Although I love Australia dearly I don’t think I have any choice but to take a stand. If the good people of Australia are hell-bent on choosing the interests of a handful of wealthy individuals who care nothing for the environment or the future of Australia or its citizens, over the future of this wonderful country for themselves and their children, then I have to do something.

I have no influence and as has been repeatedly pointed out to me, I have no power. Other than choice. If you vote for the Liberal Party you have no soul. You have no compassion. You have no concern for the environment, or healthcare, or education, women or technology. You have no compassion for the people who flee terrible circumstances in other countries for a better life like the one we enjoy here. I read that at our present rates it would take 20 years for the flow of boat people to fill the MCG. That’s not a lot of people. Especially considering the strength of our economy and the size of our nation. Especially considering that these people want to work and contribute to our country to make us all stronger and richer. Many countries with far less resources do far more for people in trouble. We could do more if only we stopped thinking about how scared WE are and gave a thought for how thankful we should be for all we have and how we might share it with people less fortunate.

The mining companies in this country are grandmotherfucking cuntingly rich bastards and they’re only getting richer and they’re getting it from taking OUR very finite natural resources. I don’t mind anyone making money but Abbott doesn’t think the Australian people deserve a share of this wealth. He won’t tax those rich fat cunts!

If Abbott gets in this Saturday I’m joining Al-Qaeda and fuck you all!

Harsh? Fuck it. What else is left? If a country blessed with so many beautiful, wonderful qualities can choose fear and mean-spiritedness by a majority; if democracy can be rendered meaningless by propaganda that doesn’t even make sense; if people are so stupid that they will vote for a sport-obsessed, misogynist, xenophobic, homophobic, religious fundamentalist with no economic acumen and who is a self-confessed liar and committed to making ordinary citizens carry the bill for the lifestyles of the rich and shameless; I have no choice left but to declare war against such malevolent, wilful stupidity.

I will join Al-Qaeda if Liberal win on Saturday.

So, I don’t care who you vote for. It’s your vote and you should think about what the various parties and candidates represent and vote according to who you think will best serve the nation’s interests and contribute best to the future of Australia. By “think” I actually mean use some critical thinking, use some analytical skills to see what’s behind the P.R. hype, not just decide based on who you felt handled Mark Latham’s handshake best. CUNTS!!! Whatever! I’ve said my piece. Do what you want, but a vote for Abbott is a vote for Al-Qaeda, so don’t complain when you vote that smarmy wank-stain in and I blow your fucking shit up!

Stupid fucking monkeys!

Hunting The Bogeyman.

Posted in Things Rank And Gross In Nature with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 7, 2009 by Buck Frain

OK, so here I am. Again. Back at my stupid, stupid, fucky old job facilitating the acquisition of accurate research data for sociopathic multi-nationals. Ticking boxes and going through the motions for malevolent, imbecilic and monstrous bints. Yeah, it sucks but what really fucks with me is how the cancer of toxic personality trickles its way down the corporate ladder infecting everyone in the whole organisation.

I went to the staff toilet on our floor today. I think it’s the first time I’ve been to the toilet whilst at work since I’ve been back. No, not because I’m afraid, but because I don’t drink enough water, although after today’s experience I don’t want to go back. Standing at the urinal I couldn’t help but notice that the wall at eye level was spattered with bogeys. I’m not talking about a dried phlegmy spit which is gross but quite common to see in male toilets, but a serious spattering of crusty boogers.

I examined the form and pattern trying to work out what the volcanic arsehole was going on. There was no way this was just an unguarded sneeze, there must have been over 100 of them. This was a conscious and premeditated work undertaken over months while I’ve been absent. It was a veritable nose-goblin collection that Stimpy himself would have been proud of. I was fucking appalled!

stimpy_nose_goblins

So, was the Bogey Collector just leaning back while pissing and blowing the loose bogeys out onto the wall? No. I don’t think so. That may have been how it started but it had since gotten way out of control. He really liked this. He liked putting the bogeys up and he loved that they were staying there and that there was nowhere else to look but at them. There were some that were definitely picked, I could see what looked like smear marks trailing from some of them. This meant he was standing there, pissing, dick in one hand, other hand stuck up his nose fishing out grunties and then wiping them on the wall. Now that is just cunting well wrong! I don’t blame the cleaners for not cleaning the bogeys off. That’s not their job, this is vandalism, this is some crazy fucking act of mucus terrorism. ONE OF THEM HAS A CUNTING GREAT HAIR IN IT, FOR SHIT’S SAKE!!! Quick – call forensics! I need that fucker DNA tested so I can track this snot-fiend down.

I left the toilet. Nauseated. Outraged. Bogeys on the fucking wall! WHY!!! It doesn’t hurt The Wobblers, they don’t use the gents…maybe they do – eew!!! As a form of protest it is completely redundant. It’s just fucking gross. It only serves to further demoralise people who hate being there anyway. Even the most inarticulate graffiti has a message, this has no message… Or does it? Is it just a pure emotional expression? Is it a visceral interpretation of the rage generated by corporate containment and the impotence of the individual? Is this the post-modern answer to conventional graffiti? Could this be the future of street art? NO! NO! NO! IT’S NOT AND IT SHITTING WELL COULDN’T!! IT’S BOGEYS ON A MOTHER-FUCKING WALL!!! IT’S FUCKING FILTHY AND WHEN I FIND YOU, BOGEY COLLECTOR, I’LL FUCKING EXPOSE YOU FOR THE SHIT-EATING, CUNTFUL DEVIATE YOU ARE!!!

DON’T SMEAR YOUR FUCKING BOGEYS ON WALLS!!!

I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU!!!

ARSE!!!

 

Have you GOT faith or do you just WISH you had?

Posted in Wankers In Denial with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2008 by Buck Frain

As an atheist, I find faith a very interesting concept. I like the idea of it in some ways, a tendency towards hope and positivity, a belief, sometimes against logic, that everything will be alright. I think it allows people to achieve wonderful things in the face of terrible adversity and promotes some of the best attributes of humanity.

The sad thing is that so few people today actually have any faith at all.  You don’t have to look too far to see the faithful showing off the flimsiness of their faith. Have a look at any of the blogs that are in any way anti-religious or even those that just satirise or poke fun at religion and you’ll see the faithful going out of their minds. They scream the most incisive vitriol at the blasphemers, they forsake, in text, every value they have sworn to uphold, simply because someone else either doesn’t value their faith or holds an opposing view. That, to me, indicates that maybe they don’t really have any faith whatsoever, they just want to have it. Fearful people alone in the universe, like children afraid of the dark. Remember kids, all anger is a product of fear – take it from me, I should know. Surely if you have solid faith in an omnipotent God, you’re not foolish enough to think that God needs your dumb arse sticking up for Him. Can’t an all-powerful being stick up for Himself? More importantly, how strong is your faith in this God, if at the first sign of ridicule or difference you toss all his commandments away and start behaving like a terrorist? My God’s bigger than your God!

From the ancient Greeks through to fundamentalists of all denominations today, the faithful seem hell bent on endowing their deities with very human frailties. I thought the whole point of religion was to believe in something greater than humanity, a superior intelligence, a supreme being, something that transcends our shortcomings here and now and leads towards a better future by encouraging us to surpass our baser natures. So how the millions-of-mindless-shitheads do you explain the violent actions of the faithful all around the world today? Most people just don’t think it through, in fact most people don’t think at all. The vast majority of the faithful use faith as an excuse to not use their brain. Woohoo, I’ve got Jesus, there’s no need to question anything ever again! Fuck you! Faith doesn’t absolve you of the need to think. If there is one thing we can be certain of looking at history, it’s that religion has repeatedly been used by evil men to control the stupid. But maybe there’s a few people who enjoy that. Maybe there are people who love having a religious loophole that allows them to hate and murder with impunity. If so, it doesn’t appear very Godly from the outside.

The photograph at the top of this post my inspiration today. It’s a photograph by Andres Serrano of a small plastic crucifix submerged in the artist’s urine and entitled Piss Christ. A copy of it was torn up in the U.S. Senate by an outraged politician and when it was displayed in Melbourne some young chump smashed its display and an angry mob tried to have the exhibition shut down. The brainless faithful missed the point and resorted to hatred and violence rather than trying to understand or appreciate a beautiful image. Makes me think if Jesus did bother to come back, it would probably be his own faithful who would kill him this time, not just hired Roman goons.