Archive for Politics

Fuck Christmas

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2014 by Buck Frain

lp

Christmas 2014 is shaping up to be the most miserable in living memory for Australia. An increasing number of Australians are taking to the streets in T-shirts declaring that they will not be celebrating Christmas at all this year as they’re saving all their party stuff until Prime Minister Tony Abbott dies.

Hatred for the PM has reached fever pitch in many parts of the country, and without a productive outlet for the rage, people are increasingly turning on the institution of Christmas as a focus for their anger. Frank Jelbart, 87, of Coonamble NSW said: “What kind of country are they running here anyway, where a fine young lad like Philip Hughes is struck down playing cricket for God’s sake and a snake like Abbott destroys the country and walks around breathing the air that mates of mine died for. Christmas be fucked this year, I’m just going to take out the 12 gauge and shoot holes in some road signs.”

Vicky Pettigrew, 44, of Happy Valley SA said: “Tony Abbott has ruined Christmas in our house this year. We get a tree each year but neither my husband, Darren, or I can even look at a Christmas tree now without imagining it on fire and stabbed right down that creepy lizard[Abbott]’s Jap-eye.” Mrs. Pettigrew, well-intentioned but a bit of a casual racist, told how the family had tried to persevere with the Christmas spirit until the couple’s thirteen year old son had replaced the traditional fairy atop the tree with a paper cut-out of the Prime Minister. “I think Ethan he thought it was funny or something but when Darren saw it he went berserk. He just dragged the whole tree out into the yard, decorations and all, doused it with two-stroke fuel and set it ablaze. He said no-one in our house would be having any fun until he [Abbott] dies.”

Similar scenes are playing out all over the country. In Mulgrave Vic, Trevor Farnsworth, 53, said the only thing he would be doing this Christmas was taking a hammer and knocking the handles off all of his 82 sporting trophies attained over 35 years of competing in a range of sports. “It’s been my life”, he wept, “but now they all just remind me of that dirty, big-eared cunt. Why can’t someone just fuckin’ kill him?”

You would be mistaken to think that the discontent stops at our sovereign borders though, interviewed at his well-hidden North Pole factory this week, the usually-jolly Santa Claus let fly about the Australian PM when asked about the down-turn in festive participation this season. “Tony Abbott is cancer in Speedos, he can get fucked! I’m not even going to Australia this year. I’m sorry kids but you can just fuck right off as long as that prick’s breathing. I’m serious! Cunt [Abbott] wants to pretend global warming doesn’t exist? I live in the fucking North Pole, bitches! Do you know how much I’ve had to spend on foundation re-flotation and sea-floor mooring just so the factory doesn’t sink into the fucking Arctic Ocean? It’s like Venice-On-Ice up here – it’s fucking bullshit – and that filthy weasel shit-fuck [Abbott] spends most of his time gobbing off Big Mining like coal’s a good fucking idea. No surprise that Tony Abbott’s death is Australia’s second most wished-for Christmas item this year, but I’ll tell you now: if you want him dead you’re going to have to do it your lazy fucking selves. I wouldn’t let Rudolph piss on that beef-jerky-looking bastard if he was on fire.

santa-mad

With the big man in red seeing red, our intrepid reporter wasn’t game to ask what the number one most wished for Christmas item was from Australia, although my money’s on having a truck-load of pineapples smashed up Scott Morrison’s arse with a sledgehammer. Whatever it is, there’s no doubt that we’ve lost our way with Christmas. Sure as cunts I can’t buggered with it! Like the kids are saying: Fuck Christmas – I’m saving all my party stuff ‘til Tony Abbott dies.

Christmas In July – Please Make Tony Abbott Die.

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2014 by Buck Frain

Dear Santa,

 

It’s been a while since I wrote to you but at this point you’re probably the only one who can help me. Seeing as Christmas In July seems to be a thing now, please find below my list. It’s not very conventional but neither is Christmas In July so I’ve attempted to go for non-commercial presents that will be of benefit to lots of people, not just to me.

 

1. Please kill Tony Abbott. No need to make him suffer. Just make him stop being alive. He’s hurting pretty much everyone. He’s happy about it. His actions benefit no-one other than handful of ultra-wealthy people who don’t really need him. He brings nothing good, kind or honest to the world, only selfishness and suffering.

2. Please kill Joe Hockey. He’s a liar and a thief. He’s lied about his family’s business interests for 14 years while he lines his pockets and now he wants the rest of us to put up with unnecessary poverty. I would accept austerity in a time of hardship but in a boom time when Australia is strong it’s empirically wrong. He’s cynically and systematically destroying middle Australia and creating suffering for millions while he and his mates live large.

3. Please kill Scott Morrison. He’s overseeing a system of illegal imprisonment, people trafficking, psychological, physical and sexual abuse, torture and murder of innocent men, women and children. People fleeing the worst horrors imaginable and seeking our help. He has them to concentration camps in the world’s least liveable places to punish them and their families for daring to seek shelter from cruelty.

4. Please kill Christopher Pyne. He’s destroying education for Australians and making it harder for anyone who’s not already rich to compete with their fellows for an equal chance to make a good life for themselves. He’s stealing the future for generations to come and he’s a smarmy little cunt as well if you don’t mind my saying so.

5. Please smack Mattias Cormann really hard, right in his box-shaped, Belgian fucking head about 50 or 60 times, really, really fucking hard. I fucking hate that prick!

 

That’s my top 5. I could go on – George Brandis, Kevin Andrews, Julie Bishop, Arthur Sinodinos, oh God there’s soooo many of them – but I know you’re busy and lots of people will be asking for things. I know I’m not perfect but I’ve been as good as I can, Santa. I haven’t killed anyone, cheated anyone or told any lies that have damaged people’s lives. Just the normal stuff like: “No, you were just a little bit tipsy, no-one took it badly, you were quite amusing.” Oh wait, well, maybe I should’ve been a bit more honest there but seriously…this is getting off topic.

I don’t want to be greedy. If you can only deliver on number 5 I’ll be massively grateful but please, please start at the top. It’s not just for me, these are gifts for all of Australians, for the whole world even. Please, Santa, please bring me Christmas in July – please make Tony Abbott die.

 

Lots of love,

Buck Frain

A Vote For Abbott Is A Vote For Al-Qaeda.

Posted in Boof-head Sporto Fuckwits, Rage Against The Machine, Random Shit That Gives Me The Cunt with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2010 by Buck Frain

It’s a big call but I’ve had a gut-full! The federal election this Saturday is vital to the future of Australia. I survived the Howard years when the ironically-named Liberal Party stomped all over public opinion and consistently fucked the little guy in order to pump up the wealthy. I watched while the majority of Australians voted them in time and time again against their own interests. I still don’t know how and I still don’t know why. I can’t go back there. I FUCKING WON’T!

I’ve heard the parrot calls of RAWK! Think of the economy. RAWK! Usually coming from ill-informed cretins who don’t realise their thoughts aren’t in any way their own and that actually they’ve got big business’ hands up their arses.

I have absolutely no faith in democracy in this country because it seems to me that the majority of Australians are complacent, apathetic, ignorant and mentally lazy. We’ve had it good for so long that we don’t feel like we have a responsibility to educate ourselves to what’s really going on and to have an opinion about it. Although I love Australia dearly I don’t think I have any choice but to take a stand. If the good people of Australia are hell-bent on choosing the interests of a handful of wealthy individuals who care nothing for the environment or the future of Australia or its citizens, over the future of this wonderful country for themselves and their children, then I have to do something.

I have no influence and as has been repeatedly pointed out to me, I have no power. Other than choice. If you vote for the Liberal Party you have no soul. You have no compassion. You have no concern for the environment, or healthcare, or education, women or technology. You have no compassion for the people who flee terrible circumstances in other countries for a better life like the one we enjoy here. I read that at our present rates it would take 20 years for the flow of boat people to fill the MCG. That’s not a lot of people. Especially considering the strength of our economy and the size of our nation. Especially considering that these people want to work and contribute to our country to make us all stronger and richer. Many countries with far less resources do far more for people in trouble. We could do more if only we stopped thinking about how scared WE are and gave a thought for how thankful we should be for all we have and how we might share it with people less fortunate.

The mining companies in this country are grandmotherfucking cuntingly rich bastards and they’re only getting richer and they’re getting it from taking OUR very finite natural resources. I don’t mind anyone making money but Abbott doesn’t think the Australian people deserve a share of this wealth. He won’t tax those rich fat cunts!

If Abbott gets in this Saturday I’m joining Al-Qaeda and fuck you all!

Harsh? Fuck it. What else is left? If a country blessed with so many beautiful, wonderful qualities can choose fear and mean-spiritedness by a majority; if democracy can be rendered meaningless by propaganda that doesn’t even make sense; if people are so stupid that they will vote for a sport-obsessed, misogynist, xenophobic, homophobic, religious fundamentalist with no economic acumen and who is a self-confessed liar and committed to making ordinary citizens carry the bill for the lifestyles of the rich and shameless; I have no choice left but to declare war against such malevolent, wilful stupidity.

I will join Al-Qaeda if Liberal win on Saturday.

So, I don’t care who you vote for. It’s your vote and you should think about what the various parties and candidates represent and vote according to who you think will best serve the nation’s interests and contribute best to the future of Australia. By “think” I actually mean use some critical thinking, use some analytical skills to see what’s behind the P.R. hype, not just decide based on who you felt handled Mark Latham’s handshake best. CUNTS!!! Whatever! I’ve said my piece. Do what you want, but a vote for Abbott is a vote for Al-Qaeda, so don’t complain when you vote that smarmy wank-stain in and I blow your fucking shit up!

Stupid fucking monkeys!

Welcome To The Death Of Freedom.

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 7, 2009 by Buck Frain

Really it’s just a matter of time before the death squads start rounding us up and our relatives never hear from us again.

govt-censorship

We’re sitting fat in our obese western consumocracy, pudgy fingers flicking between infomercials, relieved that we’re so much luckier than all those poor, starving, war-ravaged Africans and so much freer than the oh-so-shat-upon Chinese. What a fucking joke! We have no freedom, we gave that shit away, and we have no culture except buying shit we don’t need. Our own democratically elected government is placing a filter on our internet content that is rivaled only by China’s.  WHAT THE CUNT? I’m all for protecting people but this shit just keeps getting worse. What started out as a  kiddie porn filter is being expanded to block sites that sell or host games that do not meet Australia’s game ratings standards. Let’s ignore the fact that the filter is at best a stupid idea and that it would be a better idea to hunt down and prosecute pedos instead of censoring the net. They’re fucking computer games, I’m an adult, I think I can fucking handle it!

I don’t necessarily give a fuck about the games, what I care about is the removal from adults of the choice of whether they do something that does no harm whatsoever to anyone else.  Removal of choice. Removal of choice is removal of freedom and any removal of freedom de-humanises us. But it’s just a web filter. Bullshit! It’s censorship at its most ridiculous*. Censorship unheard of in any other civilised country in the world. But if that doesn’t matter to you then, yeah OK, today it’s a web filter. But what tomorrow? Revoking our right to freedom of assembly? Let’s fucking face it, we’re already well on the fucking way there. 

May 31st Melbournians may remember there was a peaceful gathering outside Flinders Street Station in protest against the recent violent attacks against Indian students that authorities have been trying to deny are racially motivated. This was a non-violent demonstration against violence …and the police’s reaction? Bash ‘em! Concerned that the demonstration might interest or embarrass commuters entering or leaving Flinders Street Station later that morning the police beat and kicked their way through masses of innocent citizens who were not breaking any law whatsoever. They chased the demonstrators through Flinders Street Station and beat anyone of Indian appearance that they could lay hands or a baton on. I had white friends in that demonstration and they were stunned that once away from the immediate site of the demonstration the police no longer targeted them, the police were racially profiling victims, passing by white people who had been involved in the demonstration and beating the nob out of anyone who looked vaguely Indian. I think it is a telling comment on our society that a peaceful protest against racially motivated violence and the government’s  indifference to it is met with government issued, racially targeted violence.

The reporting of this event in the Australian media was also very telling. Disregarding any notion of police brutality let alone racism, many reports told of the peaceful protest being hijacked by non-Indian trouble-makers. The people I’ve spoken to both Indian and non-Indian tell me that this is simply not true. They tell me that the ethnically diverse make-up of the demonstration was a very harmonious coming together of Australians in solidarity against disgusting acts of cowardice. They tell me that the only antagonism or “trouble-making” was from the police, many of whom were allegedly smiling as they kicked into seated members of the assembled crowd. Ah, there’s nothing as good as getting paid to smash people, is there?

So what is the message? Don’t play games unless they’re approved by the state, and don’t protest against injustice unless you want to get fuck bashed out of you. What sort of country is it that has rules like this? Is this a free or civilized nation?

censorship

What we’re witnessing is a removal of options and a crackdown on dissent. Like the removing of words from the dictionary in 1984, a gradual, incremental removal of liberties and choices. Remove choices and you force compliance. Remove ideas and you control the masses. Now I don’t want anarchy and I don’t want to watch child pornography but  I do want to be free. I want to be able to choose how I live and I want the freedom to choose wrongly. I don’t mind law and I’m perfectly willing to accept consequences for breaking the law, however, if I am unable to choose then there is no virtue in my living according to the rules. Without the possibility of a choice to be virtuous or wicked I lose my humanity,  I merely exist. I take up space and I consume and I die. I’m a cow with thumbs and a credit card. Relax you over-caffeinated fuck, you’re still free!  Yeah sure, free to stay safe in my house, to keep buying from big business’ catalogue of state-approved freedoms. Free to keep working to attain material wealth to spend on trivialities to anesthetize the deep feeling of loss I can’t articulate for a life I’m incapable of imagining. Keep the wheels of commerce greased. Have a Big Mac. Dial 13-bigfaketits. We’re being dumbed down and fattened up, ready for the slaughter. 

Coming Soon To Australia: Keep an eye out for book burnings, sedition charges, witch hunts and ethnic cleansing. 

* Fact: The average age of gamers in Australia is 30 yet there is no R18+ game rating in Australia. Think about it.  Stephen Conroy, you’re a stupid, stupid useless cunt of a man.

11 Shit Things That Make Share-House Living Suck – #8

Posted in 11 Shit Things That Make Share-house Living Suck. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2008 by Buck Frain

#8. Power, Politics & Paranoia

Someone much wiser and more educated than me once said Everything is political, they were bloody well right too! Even the most politically apathetic, socially recalcitrant house-mate will become a political animal once placed in the share-house arena, in fact they’ll probably be the absolute worst, grubbing around for every little piece of leverage they can get.

 

There are many different types of political animal to be found in share-houses. I’m sure you’ve met a great many of them. The annoying shit-stirrers, painful meeting-obsessed peace-makers, militant law-makers, to name but a few. Then there are the innumerable games they play and the territories they try to annex to mark out their power base in the house so they can feel at home. Ownership of the remote control, occupation of the couch, rights over the stereo, responsibility for putting out bins. Pigs, bitches and borrowers are political positions and indicative of the ever fluctuating power dynamic of the share-house.

 

Whether you like it or not you’ll play the game. It’s impossible to avoid unless you want to be the bitch. Guys play different to girls, singles play different to couples but everyone plays.

 

Power, or Hand is what they all want. It makes life easier. The great thing about having Hand is that you rarely have to use it. A look is enough. A raised eyebrow or a carefully understated turn of phrase has the other player tying themselves in knots to avoid a conflict they can’t win. But Hand is a fickle mistress. She has to be maintained and can be very easily lost. One night where you get so drunk you wake up in the hallway without pants can end your political reign in a house. Or not – just like in real politics, if you can spin the facts in your own favour you may walk away with more respect than you had to start with.

 

In an enlightened household where mutual respect is the going currency the need for this struggle for Hand is minimal and everyone can relax, unfortunately, such households are generally regarded as fictional. The share-house is not like a home, it’s more like a battlefield. It’s all about survival and your enemies are everywhere, smiling like dirty bastards and then stealthily sticking passive-aggressive notes to the fridge as soon as no-one’s looking.

 

I don’t like aggression, especially at home, it’s unnecessary and crude. Passive-aggression, though, really gives me the right royal cunt. There is nothing more fucked in the entire universe than the smug, cowardly shitfulness that passive-aggressive people ooze out onto the rest of humanity. Just be up-front and honest! I don’t mind people getting the massive screaming shits with me but I cunting well hate passive-aggression with a vengeance. If I was ever to murder someone it would probably be because of some smarmy passive-aggressive piece of skullfuckery. Unfortunately, whilst murdering people is relatively easy, getting away with it is not and the authorities seem to take a pretty dim view of it even when there’s compelling evidence that society is better off as a result.

 

So what’s to do? I could fight back, honest aggression style, I could fight back like a dog-felching-passive-aggressive wank-stain, but fighting leads to a win-lose situation that may not be stacked in my favour. What if I’m not tough enough to win on aggression? What if I’m not enough of a douche-bag to win the passive-aggressive-I-wish-I-was-Oscar-Wilde-cunty-shit-eater game? Guess I’d just have to take the loss, huh? You’d think that, wouldn’t you? You’d probably be able to go back through all those previous house-mate battles and count up all the victories where you had Hand, wouldn’t you? Yeah, that prick just had to fuckin’ wear it, ha ha! And maybe you’d be right. Maybe your adversary walked away with his tail between his legs and took the loss like an honourable man. Hmm…honour…there’s the rub. If honour were present we wouldn’t really have this problem in the first place. Never underestimate your opponent, and never, ever fuck with a coward!

 

Remember your toothbrush. Remember where it is. How vulnerable and alone it is when you’re not around. Remember all the dirty things in its immediate vicinity. Have you ever brushed your teeth and thought your toothbrush tasted funny but shuffled the thought away with a rationalisation like: It’s winter…it’s damp…the air doesn’t circulate in here. What lies have you told yourself so you didn’t have to acknowledge that your toothbrush may have visited the toilet? That your toothbrush may have been pissed on? That it may have been up the cat’s bum? Because it may have. It’s conceiveable – when did you last see the cat? But, no, how pissed off would someone have to be to do that? Maybe a lot…hmmm, maybe not so much – how widely hated is the cat? There are many areas where you are vulnerable to a terrorist attack by the people you live with. Yes, a terrorist attack. Terror is the only response available to the oppressed so think about it. If someone dunked their nob into your cottage cheese and stirred it around a bit, then put the cottage cheese back in the fridge – would you know? In a world without honour, how much Hand do you really have?

Corporate Freeloaders – Just Turning A Buck & Being Frank

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 27, 2008 by Buck Frain

Corporate freeloading is at an all time high, it seems to me that the world is filled with two types of people: the poor who, despite my reasonably comfortable western existence, I consider myself one of; and the rich who, it seems, are all lying, shit-sucking, opportunist arseholes who should all be butchered like pigs.

 

I went for a job interview today, in a desperate effort to improve my life and find some greater level of contentment or even happiness. I realise that might gravely change the complexion of this blog but I’m happy to hazard that, call me selfish.

 

This was an interview for a real job, at a real company, with supposedly real people doing something that possibly might be challenging, interesting and not leave me with a musty residue of self-loathing I need to douse liberally with beer after every shift. I mean, wouldn’t it be great to go to work for people you like, doing something you believe in? That’d be fuckin’ brilliant! So, I was excited and a little nervous as I sat in a plush leather seat in the waiting room. The receptionist had been friendly in a disarmingly genuine way and I felt…at home…for a while.

 

A genial man I’ll call Frank, because that’s his name, greeted me and led me into a meeting room with a panel of four other executives all sat behind a large table at one end of which sat a video camera. Introductions, I sat, all very friendly, hmm…the camera watched silently. Frank handed me a piece of paper,

 

Would you mind filling this out? We’d like to video the interview for training purposes, it’s just a waiver.

 

I stared at the piece of paper for a little while. I was thrown, I wasn’t expecting this and I didn’t know how to react. I looked up at the panel and then back at the waiver. I couldn’t focus clearly with the panel scrutinizing me to read it properly but it said something to the effect that they would be able to use the video in-house pretty much as they saw fit and that I wouldn’t be making any cash out of it. Nah…it just didn’t sit right.

 

Hey look, um…I don’t really feel comfortable with this…

 

I indicated the camera and waiver.

 

That’s fine, that’s fine, let’s just get down to business.

 

I got the feeling it kinda wasn’t fine. I’d ear-marked myself as a trouble maker, I was definitely not a company man, I couldn’t be trusted to toe the line. The rest of the interview went smoothly, I guess, pleasant goodbyes, exit.

 

The further I got from the office, the angrier I got. What the steaming shit sandwich was that all about? In the old days they would get actors – not famous ones – to do corporate training videos, and they’d pay them with money – not much money. These cunts wanted me to provide them with training tools for free without even the guarantee of a job. What the fuck is that about? How much more disgustingly opportunistic could they be? Exploiting people who want jobs for company interviewer training materials. Was it a test? Was that part of the deal, if you don’t agree to be filmed we won’t even consider you for the position? And what the stapled pissflaps else were they going to use the video for? Maybe a mood lightener after lunch at boring seminars: And here’s some of the useless shit-sacks we DIDN”T hire this year! Was I to be part of an Idol-style montage of losers to entertain soulless obese executives. By this stage, I wasn’t just a bit narky about it, I was royally fucked off! I wanted to call that smarmy prick, Frank, and tell him:

 

Hey Frank, I’ve had a think about it and y’know what? You can use the video, that’s fine with me, on one condition. That you and the other members of your panel each eat a full teaspoon of my shit. How’s that sound, Frank? I’ll even bring the spoons! Ya fuckin’ CUNT! GET FUCKED!!!

 

I had the mobile in my hand. I had the number on my screen. I didn’t want their job any more so it wasn’t about not wanting to burn bridges, I just realised that Frank wouldn’t get it. The Franks of the world won’t understand people’s indignation at corporate exploitation and even if they did, The Franks probably wouldn’t care.

 

I have never met an honest rich person. Is that just how it works?

Petrol Price Rise Rage Reality.

Posted in Human Stupidity with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2008 by Buck Frain

Petrol prices are going up. It’s not fuckin’ news. It’s been in the news constantly for the last fuck-knows-how-many years but recently it’s started to really fuck me off. People are up in arms over he rising fuel prices and I understand, I even empathise with them to a point. Certainly, rural Australians and people reliant on petrol for their occupations are really under pressure and the harsh truth is it is not going to get any better. I feel for these people but it is reality. 

The people I don’t feel sorry for are the fucking idiots blaming the government for rising prices. What the nail-gunned ballbags are they thinking? Yes, the government are greedy cunts, they control the various taxes they charge on fuel, but beyond that they have nothing to do with it.

 

I found this little gem today from the UK and was relieved to find that they’re even more stupid than us: 

Two-thirds of motorists said they would vote for a different government if fuel rose to between £1.25 and £1.49 per litre and 63% said they would be willing to protest if the price of petrol and diesel rose to levels they considered unacceptable. 

 

What the grated dick are you fuckheads thinking? It’s supply and demand, the demand’s up and the supply is rapidly going down forever. Protest all the fuck you want, vote for a fucking hedgehog, it’s not going to make more dead dinosaurs! The fact is we’ve nearly burnt them all, we’ve burnt up the dead dinosaurs and the few drips that are left are going to continue to get more and more expensive until some massively rich CUNT goes for the world’s last petrol drag and that will be the end of it, which of course it won’t be because sooner or later, if the polluted environment or global war doesn’t kill us first, we’ll develop sustainable, renewable energy sources and means of transport that run on them.

 

The world is changing, we’re running out of oil, all of us in every single country on the planet, now SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUCKIN’ WELL DEAL WITH IT!!! The fucking childish mentality of consumers makes me so fucking angry, what the fuck did you think was going to happen you mindless fucksticks? DEAL WITH IT! Especially if you live in the UK – no reasonable person would choose to live in a place with such abominable weather and the miserable island’s small enough you can get your pasty arse on a pushbike and peddle to fucking work!  

 

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

 

Afterthought: The CEO of Caltex came out and said people should use less fuel. Doesn’t that indicate something? I mean, what sort of CEO asks you to buy less of his product? People, fuckin’ stupid people, bah!