Archive for Children

Australia – Rule #1: Don’t Spill Ya Piss!

Posted in Human Stupidity with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 13, 2008 by Buck Frain

 

When I was in college a couple of my dear friends made up a list of rules for life. Rule number one was Don’t spill ya piss! (For the international visitors: “piss” is a colloquial term for any alcoholic beverage). The other rules slip my mind, the important thing was that every odd rule was Don’t spill ya piss!

 

Today I read this article about a driver pulled over in the Northern Territory who allowed his five year old child to sit on the floor of his car whilst his precious, his carton of beer, was safely secured to the back seat with a seat belt, between two other seat-belted adults. What a complete wanker.

 

This is about as Aussie as you can get. The only real cultural identity we have, outside of an unhealthy obsession with sports, is a culture of binge drinking which places more value on alcohol than even the safety of our own children. I suppose it’s only fitting seeing as the first currency of colonised Australia was rum.

 

When people ask me why I’m not patriotic I tell them because most of the people in any country are complete fuckwits, Australia is no different and I can’t really get fired up to associate myself with fuckwits. Patriotism is an archaic pile of horseshit, it’s just another version of tribalism, sectarianism, or a whole bunch of other –isms that attempt to disguise a very base animal behaviour, the aim of which is to alienate and ultimately kill anything other. Fuckin’ stupid monkeys! The only benefit in pulling this guy over and stopping him from killing everyone in his car was the possibility he might have taken a useful citizen or two with him.

 

I love a drink, beer is a great friend of mine, but people like this cunt just make me wish for the stupid-bomb to hurry up and cleanse the world of this plague of fools. Bring on the idiot apocalypse! Die you useless fucks! Please just die!

Teaching Our Children How To Be Failures At Life.

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 9, 2008 by Buck Frain

Small-minded sexually repressed fuckwits! Man, I fuckin’ hate them so much. Trying to pretend that no-one ever has sex and if they do they certainly don’t enjoy it, and God forbid, if they were in a moment of weakness to actually enjoy it, they’d be plagued with guilt and never speak of it again. That’s the way: Back to Victorian values! Should we put skirts on the piano legs so no-one gets a stiffy? GET FUCKED!!! 

Here’s an article I read today about Lynne Tziolas, a 24 year old primary school teacher who has been fired for appearing in a Cleo magazine article. Yes, the article is about sex. Yes, it features a tame nude photo of Ms Tziolas and her husband. But it appears in an adult magazine, theoretically kept out of primary-age childrens’ reach. She was fired because of some complaints from offended parents. There has never been any suggestion that her behaviour or work as a teacher has been anything less than excellent. 

What the FUCK??? 

Is sex bad? Is the human form a point of shame? Where do children come from anyway? I mean, surely even the offended parents must have gotten laid at some point. Who the shit are these people? The stupidity of this makes me lose my mind. Your primary school kids learn all about war and crime and violence and all manner of brutality – hey, that’s just the TV, surviving school’s much worse – and yet concerned parents lose their shit at the thought that their kids’ teacher is fucking, despite the fact that the kids are oblivious to it. Why? Oh my God! My child’s teacher fucks her husband. Can you believe that? Her husband! I just read it here. Neither of them are fat either, it’s obscene ! And they’re married. Ew! Perverts, I’m not letting her near MY baby! What is the real problem? Is that she has sex? Or is it that she enjoys it? Or is it that she speaks about it in a adult forum and isn’t ashamed of her body? Do any of these things matter at all? And what the fuck are we saying, that only virgins should teach children? Only celibate people should be teachers? Fuck, that’s a great idea – just ask anyone who went to a Catholic school! Hah! 

From my dusty recollection of how unjust and belittling a misery school could be, the teachers I liked, who were human and understanding, who inspired respect and taught me useful things, were also the ones who, in retrospect, I suspect as most likely of having had some semblance of sex life. It was the mean-spirited arseholes who’d never had a sniff of romance, love or sex who you had to watch out for. The misanthropic bastards who begrudged you your childhood and hated the happiness you exuded. Their whole mission was about crushing that beautiful, innocent spirit before it lead you anywhere near a happy life. Excising imagination and inquisitiveness wherever they emerged lest they spread to the other children like a disease. Do we really want more of those people teaching our kids? 

When I have kids I hope they have teachers who are healthy, happy people with good relationships and fulfilling lives outside the school. People who choose to be teachers because of a passion for helping young people develop into healthy, happy, well-adjusted adults. That, I fear, is unlikely as teachers’ pay is shit, so many of the good ones go on to other professions, and when schools are being run by soft-cock sycophants like The Principal at Narraweena Public School, what hope is there that you can actually do your job and have a normal life?

For fuck’s sake, what does an innocent magazine article about healthy, natural, acceptable-even-to-God-if-you-care-what-he-thinks sexuality have to do with a person’s ability to function as a teacher? She’s not telling the kids about it – No, Johnny, a figure 8 with your tongue, that still feels like a 1…  Fucking hell, what century is this? If I was the Principal who got the calls from those uptight puritan FUCKHEADS about a good teacher, I’d tell them to buy a good-sized mettwurst and GO FUCK THEMSELVES!!!