Archive for Bosses

Gary Morgan Eats Shit!

Posted in Specials with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2009 by Buck Frain


I don’t normally do requests but very occasionally someone sends me something that I feel I need to share. This is one of those cases. This really made me laugh – the dodgy mouth movements, the path of the turd and…is that arse hairy? Whether it’s the work of an idiot or a genius I don’t know but whoever they are they’re obviously someone who hates their boss just as I myself despise the…hmm…remarkably similar proprietor of my own workplace. Someone identifying him/herself only as fisto401 sent me the piece of artwork above in an apparent effort:

…to show the world how much of a shit-eating bastard my miserable cunt of a boss is.

In fisto401’s email to me he/she engaged in a blistering attack on his/her employer, a Mr. Gary Morgan,  describing said Gazza as

…the ultimate fucking seagull manager.

Fisto then goes on to say:

Everyone hates his guts. He’s a miserable tight-arse bastard and he can’t even throw a decent Christmas party. The old cunt’s worth millions and all he can do is lay on two hours worth of VB and some fucked old party pies. He’s such a cunt I just wish I could quit working at the Morgue and drop a shit right on his desk.

From what I can understand the business in question is a research company not a morgue. I would have to say that if your company is known by employees as The Morgue and it’s not one, you’re probably doing something wrong.  I can’t tell you whether Gary Morgan really is a shit-eating freak but I suspect he probably is. There are malcontents in any workplace but to inspire the profound loathing that damands the creation of works of angry computer art that get sent to third parties to ensure it doesn’t remain nothing more than an in joke, you really must be a serious arsehole. So, I’ll trust fisto401’s judgement and salute their unsophisticated but hilarious depiction of Gary Morgan eating shit like the shit-eating freak he almost certainly is. Ha ha ha! Fuck you, Gary Morgan, you filthy shit-eating bastard!!!

 

 

If you hate your boss and have created something funny to publicly have a go at them, please send it to buck.frain@gmail.com and if I think it’s entertaining, justified or both I might post it here. Why? Because I’m lazy and have no scruples, that’s why!

Corporate Freeloaders – Just Turning A Buck & Being Frank

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 27, 2008 by Buck Frain

Corporate freeloading is at an all time high, it seems to me that the world is filled with two types of people: the poor who, despite my reasonably comfortable western existence, I consider myself one of; and the rich who, it seems, are all lying, shit-sucking, opportunist arseholes who should all be butchered like pigs.

 

I went for a job interview today, in a desperate effort to improve my life and find some greater level of contentment or even happiness. I realise that might gravely change the complexion of this blog but I’m happy to hazard that, call me selfish.

 

This was an interview for a real job, at a real company, with supposedly real people doing something that possibly might be challenging, interesting and not leave me with a musty residue of self-loathing I need to douse liberally with beer after every shift. I mean, wouldn’t it be great to go to work for people you like, doing something you believe in? That’d be fuckin’ brilliant! So, I was excited and a little nervous as I sat in a plush leather seat in the waiting room. The receptionist had been friendly in a disarmingly genuine way and I felt…at home…for a while.

 

A genial man I’ll call Frank, because that’s his name, greeted me and led me into a meeting room with a panel of four other executives all sat behind a large table at one end of which sat a video camera. Introductions, I sat, all very friendly, hmm…the camera watched silently. Frank handed me a piece of paper,

 

Would you mind filling this out? We’d like to video the interview for training purposes, it’s just a waiver.

 

I stared at the piece of paper for a little while. I was thrown, I wasn’t expecting this and I didn’t know how to react. I looked up at the panel and then back at the waiver. I couldn’t focus clearly with the panel scrutinizing me to read it properly but it said something to the effect that they would be able to use the video in-house pretty much as they saw fit and that I wouldn’t be making any cash out of it. Nah…it just didn’t sit right.

 

Hey look, um…I don’t really feel comfortable with this…

 

I indicated the camera and waiver.

 

That’s fine, that’s fine, let’s just get down to business.

 

I got the feeling it kinda wasn’t fine. I’d ear-marked myself as a trouble maker, I was definitely not a company man, I couldn’t be trusted to toe the line. The rest of the interview went smoothly, I guess, pleasant goodbyes, exit.

 

The further I got from the office, the angrier I got. What the steaming shit sandwich was that all about? In the old days they would get actors – not famous ones – to do corporate training videos, and they’d pay them with money – not much money. These cunts wanted me to provide them with training tools for free without even the guarantee of a job. What the fuck is that about? How much more disgustingly opportunistic could they be? Exploiting people who want jobs for company interviewer training materials. Was it a test? Was that part of the deal, if you don’t agree to be filmed we won’t even consider you for the position? And what the stapled pissflaps else were they going to use the video for? Maybe a mood lightener after lunch at boring seminars: And here’s some of the useless shit-sacks we DIDN”T hire this year! Was I to be part of an Idol-style montage of losers to entertain soulless obese executives. By this stage, I wasn’t just a bit narky about it, I was royally fucked off! I wanted to call that smarmy prick, Frank, and tell him:

 

Hey Frank, I’ve had a think about it and y’know what? You can use the video, that’s fine with me, on one condition. That you and the other members of your panel each eat a full teaspoon of my shit. How’s that sound, Frank? I’ll even bring the spoons! Ya fuckin’ CUNT! GET FUCKED!!!

 

I had the mobile in my hand. I had the number on my screen. I didn’t want their job any more so it wasn’t about not wanting to burn bridges, I just realised that Frank wouldn’t get it. The Franks of the world won’t understand people’s indignation at corporate exploitation and even if they did, The Franks probably wouldn’t care.

 

I have never met an honest rich person. Is that just how it works?