Declaring War On Arse Terrorism

Pants. They’re great. One leg in each side, pull up, fasten – BOOM – you’re clothed. Girls, you may require something more. But seriously, they are a pretty simple thing, right? I love pants. They cover and protect while allowing freedom of movement, and the many different varieties of colour, fabric, style and design provide something for every taste and occasion. So, how the fuck does it come to pass that not being able to wear them properly should become cool? Why is every gormless nob-end, usually with haircut requiring 3 hours work per day just to keep it looking like a spontaneously gang-raped dog carcass, wearing their pants below their arse cheeks now? WHAT THE FUCK DID I MISS HERE??? When I gave a shit about cool, it had some sort of meaning to it. I didn’t necessarily buy into it but at least I could understand. Not being able to put on a pair of pants is just stupid. It just makes you look like a complete fucktard. I mean, you’re not more attractive with 4 inches of your manky underpants on show to the world.

Aside from the aesthetic repugnance of this devolution of human achievement, wearing pants like this doesn’t make life easier. Movement is restricted and one has to widen one’s stance to the ridiculous in order to keep the pants on, thus undermining one of the many great features of pants, i.e. they automatically stay on until you want to take them off. These cunts walk like they’ve just shat themselves and if they ever had cause to run they’d lose the pants in a second and either have to run holding them up (impractical at best in case you’ve never had to run) or fall face first into the ground. IT’S FUCKING STUPID!!!

I’ve looked into the phenomenon and apparently it all started in the US where African American kids decided they’d get way more respect if they dressed like they were in prison. In prison you’re not allowed to have a belt because you might hang yourself with it or maybe even use it to hurt someone else so it follows that prisoners’ pants don’t fit so well. OK, so I understand the origin. I even get that stupid kids think it’s cool to emulate criminals, however, at least some of the African American kids have the good grace to cover their ill-fitting pants with long t-shirts that cover their arses…and can also, incidentally, be conveniently used to conceal weapons. Sadly, dumbfuck Aussie white kids have once again completely missed any point that might have been there. They twat around in designer clothes their Liberal-voting mum paid for, they never carry guns and they wear short shirts to advertise the fact that their only statement to the world is fail pants. It’s completely fucked. And then to add insult to injury they add a belt to the ensemble. A CUNTING BELT!!! For fuck’s sake, the only purposes belts serve are to keep your pants above your hips or  to put holsters, handcuffs or superhero shit on, which will pull your pants down if you don’t have them on properly.

Having pants that don’t fit says:

  • a) I’m poor
  • b) I’m just out of jail where I did hard time as a large man’s wife and/or
  • c) I’m armed, fuck you!

Having pants that look like they should fit, are assisted by a belt but still sit below your arse cheeks says:

  • a) I’m intellectually disabled and my carer didn’t help me after I went to the toilet
  • b) I’m a mindless follower of a consumer culture I don’t understand and/or
  • c) I’m so unredeemably shit as a person that I like deliberately getting simple things wrong to complicate my pointless existence, you should grab me by my stupid hair and fling me down the nearest flight of stairs or into the path of the nearest oncoming train!

Why does it offend me? What? You mean apart from it being both ugly and stupid? You mean you need more? Well here it is: these miscreants sit on public transport and everywhere else in their underpants. That’s right. Stinky undies right on a seat that I have to share. The pants are so low they don’t get sat on! What, your designer jeans cost so much you don’t want to wear them out by sitting on them?  GET FUCKED!!! Put some cunting clothes on. Do you think you’re so beautiful that strangers want to see your arse or maybe even share its contents? YOUR MUM WAS BEING NICE!!! You’re not cool, you’re not hot, you’re a useless, ugly cunt! For shit’s sake, cover your stinking arse! Your pants are supposed to go there. They’re not just for you, they’re a barrier for everyone else against your e-coli and convict jizz. If you’re not wearing them over your arse there’s no point wearing them at all. It’s what they’re there for – THEY’RE MADE TO COVER YOUR ARSE!!!

Stupid sagging pants fuckhead.

In the end this amounts to nothing less than Arse Terrorism. I believe it’s a campaign of terror by fetishists who like to put their dirty arses on other people’s things and I cannot tolerate it any longer. I urge everyone to take action against these purveyors of ugliness, stupidity and disease. Whenever and wherever you see them with their stupid arses, or strangely often lack-of-arse, hanging out over pants that have been forgotten at half-mast, I urge you all: kick them! Punch them! Throw the remains of your coffee on them! Push them into traffic! Set them on fucking fire!

The only way these arse terrorists will learn to wear pants properly is if it becomes vital for their survival. We have to draw a line, and let’s face it, people with their pants half down can’t fucking chase you so fuck ’em, you get a free shot!

8 Responses to “Declaring War On Arse Terrorism”

  1. ….let’s face it, people with their pants half down can’t fucking chase you….

    I love it! Yet another hilarious, foul mouthed and spot on observation of the collective retardation which we call society. If your blog was run in the mainstream media people might start getting the message that this kind of anti-social behaviour should not be tolerated. Not that I personally condone pushing these tards in front of trains (that would affect the train driver and make everybody late for work). I would recommend some balance for all the time they have spent with their pants so low. Give them an atomic wedgie that requires surgical removal! Keep up the good work Buck.

  2. puppysparkes Says:

    Agreed, and I’d add those skanky things that wear low rider jeans showboating their latest designer arse floss to the list of arse terrorists. Ladies, and I suspect some men, it just isn’t remotely going to make you look hot or sexy and after all a wise man once said… A Piece Of Shit That Glitters Is Still A Piece Of Shit!

  3. I used to walk around with my dick *hanging out, but in the summer I found out it was uncool … while in the winter it was frickin’ freezing! hee hee!

    *mildly sticking out

  4. Tasneem R Says:

    Toooo funny ! I mean there is no limit to fashion! It can go to any heights ! But this kind of pants is simply too bugging and funny!
    Your Style Personality – Are you a fashion misfit or the best-dressed person around?

  5. love it agree totally now All I have to do is stop my son from doing it !@#$*&^????? thank you for having the balls to say exactly what you think most people dont

  6. Classic! I actually saw one of these wastes of space trying to run. It looked like he was trying to keep a broom handle stuck up his arse. Knees clenched together and the rest flailng around. The next oxygen thief I see wearing pants like this goes under a bus.

  7. hip hop sucks Says:

    YOU’RE FUCKING RIGHT! And I’m 13 ears old… NO, I’m not a fucking nerdy boy, I’m an average adolescent. I like hardcore metal, I hate homework (but I KNOW it’s necessary), and I HATE slutty kids that just listen to hip hop, electronica, reggaeton (pretty much any music that’s not played with instruments). But what I hate most about this faggots is that the think they look GOOD with pants below their ass. They walk like they just came from an anal surgery. Seriously, no body care if they wanna be like that at home, but if you wanna go out, WEAR YOUR FUCKING PANTS RIGHT. done.

  8. This blog was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I’ve found something that helped me. Many thanks!

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