Australia Post – Dirty Pirate Bastards.

So Australia Post are a bunch of cunts! This may not be news to some people but it twatted me squarely between the eyes today.  I wish there was something other than whinging I could do about it but there isn’t so I’m just going to sit here being as fucked-off as hell…again. What’s new? 

I went into the post office to get a document certified as a “true copy” today. There are an arseload of locations I could quite easily have chosen to get this done but, as I would have to post the document after, I felt it would be quicker to get it all done in the one place. What I found out when I got there was that on 15th February this year Australia Post had started charging $3.95 per page for this service. A service which had been free until then and continues to be free everywhere else it is provided. 

I asked why the fee had been introduced and was met with an insipid smile and a vaguely uncomfortable I don’t know

I left the post office muttering to myself and walked down the street to the chemist where they happily certified my document without charge. In gratitude I put a couple of coins in the Salvation Army tin on the counter. I like them at the chemist. I wish I could have posted my letters there. 

I marched back into the post office and glared at the postal worker in the hope that my glaring alone would either penetrate his soul causing him to take up arms against the management of Australia Post and start a postal-worker revolution OR maybe just cause him to drop dead from a deeply-felt social remorse. My glaring powers seem to be in need of a bit of work. I paid the postage on my letter and walked outside to post it and swear to myself some more.

WHAT THE FUCK??? It used to be that the post office was there to serve the public. To provide valuable services. To help. I have no issue with anyone making a living but let’s be quite fucking honest. THIS IS SHIT!!! Australia Post is a self-funded, Government-owned organisation. They hold a monopoly over the postal service in Australia and have for the last few years been posting record profits. Furthermore, they have approval from the ACCC to put up the price of stamps to 60 cents later this year. WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY NEED MORE MONEY FOR??? The certification of documents is an important service. Is this fee a bid to simply not provide this courtesy to the community anymore by encouraging people to go somewhere they can get it for free, or is it a cynical plan to exploit even more money out of a captive market seeing as everyone has to go there eventually if they want to post their stuff? Either way it is a thoroughly reprehensible piece of corporate malignancy. 

FUCK YOU, AUSTRALIA POST!!! This decision is mean-spirited, exploitative and downright cunting well fucked! $3.95 PER CUNTING PAGE!!! IT’S DAYLIGHT FUCKING ROBBERY!!! Whoever came up with this idea is an evil shit-licker and my dearest wish is that they should die bleeding out of their arse in a tank full of hungry sharks. Tomorrow. On TV. CUNTS!!! ARSE!!! FUCK!!!

24 Responses to “Australia Post – Dirty Pirate Bastards.”

  1. I’d like to say I fell your pain, but I really don’t. Also wasn’t it you who said something about sending e-mails over post because it saves paper? Or was that a dream with unicorns and screams?

    • Buck Frain Says:

      @ KingFrozen, suck my ballbag! How the cunting shit am I supposed to send a certified document by email??? Have you been lobotomised?

      • HAHAHAHAHA! Wait a minute… you want some strange internet guy to suck your ballbag?

        OH! I see… this is one of THOSE sites… my mistake… carry on!

  2. I’m amazed a lot of banks get away with charging a withdrawal fee when you use a bank machine.
    I seem to bank with those bastards.

    • I’m fucking amazed that deadshits like you keep giving money to banks and keep complaining about it. Hey! Maybe don’t use a fucking bank?! Yeah… horde all your cash in a fucking pillow case where it’s going to be safe from bushrangers and thieving fucks like Australia Post.

  3. yeah they are fucking cunts take a week to send an overnight parcel

    • In my experience… which is extensive (not with ballbags or fucking retarded pedophile fucks like you,) the fault with delayed express packages usually lies with the fat cunt (like, your mums) who’s posted it to you.

      You could always ride your pushy to pick up your faggoty eBay purchase! 🙂

  4. I know it’s a really late comment but fuck, I hate Aus Post, too.

    Shitty fucking service at every single counter (seriously, you’re being paid to work, stop snarling for fucks sake and you move like a snail, my 3 year old brother could do a better fucking job)

    Now my parcel is missing, because some fucktard postie didn’t bother leaving me a note telling me to pick up my parcel at the post office 3 weeks ago.

    Fucking monopoly. I wish some millionaire like Richard Branson would start his own postal service here, something to compete against this shit.

    • Oh yes… that stupid postie. Wouldn’t be your fault, would it, you waddling trailer of lard. How bout you wash the fucking cake crumbs out of your fat eyes and you might be able to either see that postie has indeed left the pick-up tag or recognise that there might be a delay and perhaps you should contact the source? Noooo… that would be too hard for you, wouldn’t it, because you’re a fucking expert on everything and an internet superhero! Maybe, you could use your fucking super abilities or indeed those of your 3 year old brother and do a better fucking job… put your money where your mouth is you fucking obese abomination… if you could stop piling junk food into it :/

      You need a kick in the cunt. You’re an embarrassment to all Australians… even the fucking boat people ones.

      • Auspostsucks Says:

        Actually I can testify, even though this forum is decrepit and old – Australia post is actually a bunch of useless; incompetent retards, also you must work at australia post with your vindictive comments, lol i bet you actually do work there! (1/2) of the items i ordered came, but the other one (ordered 2 minutes apart) did not arrive and its been 3 days since the 4 – 12 working day limit..

  5. even later comment, but i absolutely HATE AUS POST!! i went to get my passport renewed, it was a 5 week procedure during which they charged me $280, made me go to a post office about 60kms further than necessary because the one near me didnt “have the proper facilities” and then asked for my dads passport from when i was born 21 years ago? WHY WOULD THEY WANT AN EXPIRED PASSPORT FROM MY DAD?
    not cool, i wrote a hate filled letter to the head office – i havent heard back unfortunately

    • blame dfat not australia post you silly slut, they are just working to guidelines set by dfat, now wonder nobody answered you letter you dumb bitch, bet you didnt sign it, fucking mole

  6. brokeNskint Says:

    Cool, another person who is pissed off with Australia Post. I am going out of business because of this cunt of a business.

    Postal prices for small parcels are now as expensive as the items I am selling.

    These bastards had a nerve to be the major sponsors of the recent largest eCommerce event in QLD this year.

    It is like Adolf Hitler being the major sponsor a Jewish event.

    I like your effort with photoshop and the logo, I am going to do one with the Monoloply board game and Australia post.

  7. brokeNskint Says:

    Oh you want to try sending a fax. The first page is $4.50 and then it is $1 for every page after that.

    I sent 9 pages and had to hock off my 24k gold watch to the guy behind me so that I could afford to pay the fee.

    In the words of BUCKFRAIN Dirty Pirate Bastards

    • what do you expect it for nothing?? go buy a fucking fax machine you dickhead, everything costs money including sending faxes

      • SallyShitStain Says:

        Shut the fuck up. Mommy didn’t breastfeed you enough? You little candy ass cocksucker. No body wants to hear your opinions.

  8. AusPost Rapists Says:

    I Fucking HATE Aus Post. It costs someone in China about $7 to send a big box full of shit to me, and I get it in just over a week.

    The other day I had to send a small box of shit to Tasmania (I can piss to Tasmania from here in Melbourne) and it cost $28 FUCKING DOLLARS! Thats right, TWENTY EIGHT MOTHER-FUCK-ING DOLLARS!!!! WTF!

    It has not arrived in Tasmania yet, and it has been 5 WORKING DAYS.


    Fuck you Aus Post. Fucking SHIT!!! And your so called “tracking” service doesn’t fucking work either – (that might have something to do with the fact that even though we pay for it, your SHIT people don’t scan our packages into the system unless you stand there and force them to… FUCK YOU.

    It costs TOO MUCH for TOO LITTLE.

    Lucky for you we don’t have a choice, or you would all be fucked without a job.

    • shit people?? who the fuck are you calling hard working people shit????? dip your head in a bucket of shit arsehole!

  9. Just to chime in, FUCK AUSTRALIA POST!!!!
    brought a visa card off them on saturday but the stupid sales person didn’t register it. So now I have to wait till monday and drive all the way across town to get her to do her job properly.


  10. Mr Postman Says:

    Bwa-hahahah … fuck you (I’m a postie) and I think this is as funny as fuck you dumb useless cunt – I laugh at you !!!

  11. you cunts are the sort of customers we dont fucking need or want, you obviously have no idea, this aint the fucking 50s douchebags!

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