Sometimes The Thing’s The Thing.

OK. No! I’m wrong! I apologise. I take it all back.

My post from yesterday, forget about it, I think I’ve got it all terribly wrong. Maybe the Queensland Government has got the right idea. Maybe if some thing is a problem, rather than trying to change human behaviour making it a problem we should just remove the thing.

This story is everywhere at the moment and is just the latest in a horrendous trend of male Australian sportsmen, particularly footballers from various codes, raping or otherwise assaulting women 

These guys are completely fucked. Two girls were lured back to a holiday house rented by football players from the Montmorency Football Club for an end-of-year-get-shitfaced-and rape-some-chicks trip. Once they were there and realised they were the only girls at the party, they were allegedly forced into separate bedrooms, wardrobes were used to bar the doors to prevent the girls’ escape and then they were allegedly raped by up to 16 players for several hours. They only escaped in the morning when a brawl erupted between the allegedly stinking drunken animals. 

These men should be lined up, shot, and fed to pigs. 

The Montmorency Football Club should be shut down. Fuck off, who needs you? You’re not a sports club you’re a training ground for criminals and deviates. It appears that someone at the club tried to hire a XXX stripper for the team to have a crack at “no limits” style about a month ago, but it also looks as though their budget wasn’t going to stretch that far, so I guess they just thought they’d grab some freebies. 

montmorencyfc

As a guy I’m reticent to suggest this under any circumstances ever but if we just cut the dicks and balls off all football players (yes, all of them) we can stop this insidious menace to the women of Australia. I hope you don’t think I’m being flippant, I’m not. I think this is the best possible solution and it will instantly stop the problem permanently. Cut all their dicks off. The dicks are the problem. Footballers are stupid so all the education in the world would be a wasted exercise – just look at Sam Newman, he still hasn’t learnt. I say chop ‘em all off.

Footy player?

Oh, Yeah.

Alright we’re cutting your cock off!

But why? I’m a nice guy.

Tough shit, can’t take any chances, you play footy, you’re obviously a fuckwit and probably a rapist given enough booze and a gee-up from your mates. It’s coming off. Get over it.

Oh…OK…Can I still play footy?

Yeah, but you’ll look funny when you run.

Simple as that! Cut off all their dicks and you’ll solve it all forever. They can’t be trusted to use their dicks properly so they shouldn’t be allowed to have them. And seriously, fuck knows they’re not doing the gene pool any favours. There’s no loss here. Human kind can do better.

One Response to “Sometimes The Thing’s The Thing.”

  1. This post and the last one leave me thinking, “No matter what happens to the perpetrators, the victims will always have mental or physical scars from the attack”.

    I don’t often say this, but sometimes there just aren’t enough bullets in the world.

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