You’ve Got Buckley’s.

I received this yesterday, I thought I’d share it with you.

Dear Mr Frain,

It has come to my client’s attention that you have been reproducing her anecdotal material in written form on your blog entitled “Buck Frain’s Angry Place.”

Not only does this action breach The Privacy Act, as my client was not approached for permission before publishing details of her personal life, but it also constitutes fraud, as you have been passing off events in my client’s life as your own experiences. Perhaps most seriously, you have on several occasions voiced your desires to make profit from the blog. Doing so would constitute theft of intellectual property.

My client fully intends to take swift legal action unless a settlement can be reached out of court. At this stage, I suggest damages of $50,000.00

My client and I eagerly await your response.

Yours Sincerely,

[name withheld]

I’ve withheld the name and list of legal qualifications in the interest of avoiding further legal action and seeing as the persons in question are evidently reading the blog, rather than actually replying to them personally, I thought I might just answer it here:

Get Fucked!!!

First of all, I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about. Secondly, even I’m not stupid enough to think anyone actually makes money out of blogging. Thirdly, if I had $50,000, which I don’t, I’d sooner blow it all on cocaine and hookers and get whacked by hired goons than give you one pissy cent. Bring on your legal action. Bring it! I live for this shit. You think you can touch me? I’m a fucking fictional character. Any resemblance I have to persons living or dead, or that anything in my world has to people or events, real, imagined or hallucinated is purely coincidental. You can eat my fictional shit! Ha Ha Ha!!! My life might suck pretty bad and not really exist but I’m damn near invincible. The only person who can touch me is my author. Ow, that was my eye! Fuck! That really hurts! …CUNT!

In conclusion, [name withheld], I reject your suggestion, I spurn you and your client, I regard you with the utmost contempt, I question your credentials and your parentage, I have placed your letter in my yard and I intend to piss on it every morning this week, and should I ever come to visit your house I will wipe my nob on your curtains.


Buck Frain.

7 Responses to “You’ve Got Buckley’s.”

  1. Old Gregg Says:

    Who the fuck does that cuntjob think they are? Jesus fucking Christ. Whoever wrote that obviously has a very limited grasp on the legal system anyway – I wouldn’t be surprised if it was just some pathetic uni student trying to gain notoriety on the internet by being a virtual turd.

    You sure showed them, though. All hail the fictional genius of Buck Frain.

  2. Serenity Says:

    is this person serious
    you must have some idea of who it could be?
    good on you person, Mr “FRAIN” could make money from this blog because it is that hilarious, just as good as wil anderons book and he’s made a bucket load off that.
    i thought sueing for intellectual property was something people joked about, i didnt know you actually could…….
    learn something new everyday.

  3. oh yeah, by the way, you took the words right out of my mouth about slow-walking people. im going to sue you. ill settle for $10. deal?

    what a douche

  4. im with jake on this. the whole point of ur rants is that ppl are gonna relate to them and find them funny. any fucktard with enough time (and not enough brains) on them after reading ur blog could come up with this shit.
    and cos im british id like to be the 1st to call this guy (in my best british accent) A COCK

  5. I … can’t …. stop…. laughing…. someone pass me the ventolin, please!

  6. Cherax destructor Says:

    Smells like some fuckwad winding you up mate….

    Either way, a most hearty “Go Fuck Yerself” is the appropriate response!

  7. Wow, what a load of wank. Its pretty pathetic that some dick lick thinks they can make money from this, sounds like a scam to me. You handled it well though Buck.

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