Smile – it’s not that bad :)

I’m not an unhappy person. Despite what you might think of me, I am happy and I enjoy life a fair bit of the time. One problem I do seem to have though, is that I’m not a naturally smiley person. I’m just not like that. I don’t think I walk around looking particularly gloomy but maybe my face doesn’t naturally hang in a smiley place. Maybe random, unjustified glee is just not my normal state. Whatever the reason, it seems to be a bit of a bug-bear for occasional random people. Enough of a problem that total strangers seem to think it’s OK to give me emotional coaching out-of-the-blue. Just for free.

Has this happened to you? You’ll be working, or reading, or doing something that requires your concentration, when some random fuck walks up and says something vacuous like, Hey, smile, it’s not that bad. Not that bad? What the cunt would you know? Or: Oh, cheer up! Who the fuck are these people? What the shit-spread-toast is their problem? Whoa, who died? Smile, man! I wish these smug, shit-sucking bastards would just go and hang themselves. There is nothing guaranteed to shit me off faster than some piece of patronising banal social instruction from a complete fucktard. NOTHING pisses me off quicker than being instructed to display the external signals of an emotion just for someone else’s visual pleasure.

Why should I smile, you cunts? WHY? What are you so cuntingly happy about? Really, I want to know! What is it that has you pissing yourself with joy 24 hours a day? Is it Prozac? Are you on a bi-polar manic high? Or do you just do it to fuck with people? Is it some fucking sadistic fetish because you know how much it gives people the cunt? Fuck you! Fucking DIE!

You know what I think? I think you’re in denial. I think it’s YOU that doesn’t get it. So here’s a dose of reality for you: There is a plague of over 6 billion people on Earth. As a species we are consuming the planet’s resources at an unsustainable rate and poisoning our the environment to a point where it will become uninhabitable by humans within 100 years. We are hurling ourselves towards the apocalypse and our governments are helping make it happen. All the pissy little things you think are reasons-to-be-happy are distractions put there to protect what’s left of society from the anarchy that would reign if everyone woke up to the truth of our impending extintion. Our grandchildren may well be the last generation of  human beings ever, and yet when they ask us what we were doing about it, we’ll have to tell them we were busy smiling and watching The Biggest Loser.

So smile it up all you want. Be cheery, buy a happy meal, go to a laughter-therapy class. I don’t bug you, I don’t point out all the things you should feel shit about, do I? Eh? NO! So fuck off! Leave me be and don’t try to convert me to be a part of your cult of denial. If you choose to interrupt me just to tell me that you want me to smile, I’ll cut your cunting head off and shove it up your stupid arse where you can grin to your heart’s content without annoying me.  Ah, smile, it’s not that bad! No, it’s a fuckload worse, you deranged freak!

10 Responses to “Smile – it’s not that bad :)”

  1. saurabhmittal Says:

    smile can change world around u..a simple smile can change the people perception and can say millions of things without putting them into the words…things come and pass so y to piss urself when there is nothing static in this world..everything is constantly changing..so keep upfront with the world & make the people around u feel little lighter and cheerful .
    🙂 nd surely little smile wont cost u anything just a little excercise of ur face….that also will do good for u…..
    so cheers nd keep smiling

  2. Buck Frain Says:

    This is exactly the sort of pat quasi-spiritual bullshit I’m talking about. Thanks for the sermon but be honest. MY smiling makes YOU feel better, it doesn’t change the world, it just makes YOU feel better about the portion of it YOU’RE living in because yet another facial slave is upholding YOUR delusion.

    And facial exercise? You’re obviously not up with the current face-nazi rhetoric that claims it takes less facial muscles to smile than to frown, which I’m now doing since you disrupted my flow.

    Also, if you’re giving me advice, if you actually have something to say, have the decency to FINISH YOUR CUNTING SENTENCES!!! DON’T FUCKIN’ ASSUME I KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING WITH ALL YOUR EASTERN HIPPY CRAP!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!

  3. Old Gregg Says:

    pow!

    I take my hat off to you, sir. And then I stamp on my hat, punch the crap out of it, set it on fire, and throw it at mr smile-a-lot.

  4. saurabhmittal Says:

    thanks for sincere comments…u keep on frowning and make ur muscles healthy but try to remain in recluse bcoz others around definitely deserves better life.let them smile 🙂

  5. Buck Frain Says:

    Are you taking the piss? Did you even read the article? I’m not trying to stop anyone smiling, I’m fucked off with the cunts like YOU who feel the need to dictate MY emotional state to me with no knowledge of my circumstances. I will NOT stay “in recluse” as you suggest, I will continue to live as a part of society as is my right. I’m not the one fucking with anyone else’s freedom, YOU ARE! I deserve a life where random shit-sucking fuckheads don’t come up to me to tell me to change MY mood because it doesn’t suit them. If you don’t like the shape of my face leave me the fuck alone, look somewhere else. How about you go around telling people to change their clothes because you don’t like their fashion sense? Let’s see how far you get with that, you fucktard!

  6. Old Gregg Says:

    wow this is getting better and better.

  7. They do it in Europe, telling you that you are not enough sun tanned or that you should change your clothes!! Same for that bloody smile! Please people, get a life and leave me alone, so I will smile … maybe! Because if I am smiling they stop me and ask me why?? What should I do??

  8. That doesn’t happen in America, nobody gives two shits. It is hilarious that the first comment after the long well thought out post was someone telling you to smile, then calling you out saying you don’t want others smiling. He trully must not have read the damn thing. And Eastern hippy crap.. hope thats not a cultural crack, not everyone from a certain area is the same, fuck even you should know that.

  9. and don’t ya just hate it when some cunt says “smile, it might not happen” then they walk away laughing like a drain. GET FUCKED I say. I’m not one for attacking people from behind, but one day I’m gunna make an exception for these fuck useless snapper heads

  10. Cherax destructor Says:

    Fear not! A deep-seated hatred for stupid cunts is an entirely healthy response! It isn’t our fault that there just so bloody many of the oxygen-thieving arseweasels to deal with in a day….

    So, give one a good kicking…

    Then smile! =)

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