10 People I’d Love To Smash – #10

#10: Kyle Sandilands


If you took a spiteful, cowardly, metrosexual cane toad and dressed it up with a faux mo and a designer beard you’d have something resembling Kyle Sandilands – Australia’s Littlest Fat-Cunt. Loathing is not nearly a strong enough word to describe the feeling I have towards him. 

When interviewed on Enough Rope last year, speaking of his childhood, he painted himself as a superficial, materialistic child who fantasised about being rich, cut out pictures of crystal vases and put them in a scrap book. Now, that’s just fuckin’ creepy!

Then the traumatic tale of how he’d spent time living on the street after being kicked out of his comfortable middle-class existence by mum and step-dad for throwing a miniature Corey Delaney party when they went away. This, I’m sure, was the bit where we were supposed to see the vulnerable, human Kyle. All I saw was an angry little turd who went off half-cocked at his parents, who were rightly pissed at him, and has used that as justification for all the nastiness he’s felt inclined to inflict on the world ever since. Emotionally, it’s clear he never moved past this incident and is still an angsty, self-absorbed, attention-seeking teenager at heart. Unfortunately for everyone else in the country, instead of doing adolescent stuff like spray-painting “fuck” on a wall, he’s got a national audience and he can carve it into people’s souls with his cruel pranks and insults. 

On radio, he rapes ordinary people’s lives with no regard for the personal, emotional carnage left in his wake, and all in the name of ratings. On Australian Idol he mostly sticks to attacking girls about their physical appearance. I mean, fuck – he doesn’t know anything about music so what else is there to do? He gets paid enormous amounts of money for this, for bullying women. Why? Maybe because that’s what Australians want. I don’t know, maybe we want to see girls being bullied, maybe that’s what our society has come to – misogynist rage. 

Predictably, like all piss-weak, soft-cock, woman beaters, he never takes responsibility for his actions and he can’t take it when he’s the one copping the abuse. I will always love comedian Dave Hughes for calling him a dickhead at the Logies! Kyle snapped the carrot, repeating whenever he got the opportunity how he would punch Hughesy in the throat. Ooh, hard man! In the throat! Tough guy! He even said he was happy to do jail time pay it off, hmm, does little Kylie just want to be a big-man’s bitch? At any rate, Hughesy would kick Kyle’s stupid arse and, you know, I’d pay to see that shit, for sure.

Most recently, Kyle has had a go at TV host/ comedian/ producer/ good bloke/ icon Rove McManus. Not to his face, like a man. Not with any fear of a reply – no, leave nothing to chance, weaklings. After a phone conversation on radio with Rove – The Cane Toad slagged him off after hanging up! GROW SOME BALLS, YOU LITTLE FAT FUCK! 

Kyle Sandilands’ entire career is built upon bullying, lowbrow abuse and exploiting people from his position of power, be it as shock-jock or TV personality. Winner of Who Weekly Most Hated Man, FHM Tosser of the Year, Fugly Awards Worst Male Personality on TV, he isn’t smart, witty or funny, he’s just a sadistic child with a magnifying glass. He is devoid of empathy, he has nasty small hands and I wish I could chop him up and sell him for his blood and organs. 

I would love to smash Kyle Sandilands. Fuck you, Kyle, I hope you’re in therapy and I pray your therapist is convincing you that suicide is a valid option because, for you, IT IS!!!

22 Responses to “10 People I’d Love To Smash – #10”

  1. Jonathon Says:

    lol. Take THAT, Vyle!

  2. This cunt should be at number one i hate Big Brother and having sandilands and Jackie o as new presenters says it all really, i hope the ratings plummet
    This fuck can’t belittle or mock anyone he has no fucking right, channel 10 should be revamped with new hosts all the boardroom should be sacked Sandilands is a vile useless cunt i would love to smash the prick

  3. Well said. What a cunt.

  4. Suzanne-Haley Says:

    I hear ya. I agree with everything that you have written. He is so abusive especially towards women. I mean, he has a cry when he is insulted about his weight or for just being a fuckwit in general although he has no problem treating other’s like they’re worthless because they don’t meet his unrealistic standards. Not all women can look like Supermodels just like all men can’t look like Brad Pitt in ‘Troy’… I remember one young lady who auditioned for Australia Idol who did have talent, was rather attractive and looked to be a healthy weight and yet he still made shallow, nasty digs at her size… He can dish it out but he sure can’t take it… Fucking COWard!

  5. nellie lee Says:

    here here take that kyle you little bitch

  6. Isabella Says:

    My brother knew him at school – he didn’t even get kicked out of home, he skulked off like the little slug fucker he is and refused to go home for 10 months to stress his parents out! Funny, they never begged him to come back 🙂

  7. Hans Licht Says:

    He’s got a beard… BUT HE HASN”T GOT A CHIN!!!

  8. Dog Boy Says:

    Scaredy fatty chunk fuck.

  9. I’ve hated this cunt since the whole episode with Frenzal Rhomb years back. They had a go at Jackie O, who then proceeded to hide behind both Kyle AND the radio to do one of their piss ant little phone calls, and threaten to ruin Frenzal by not playing them.. to which they rightly replied ‘like you ever played us in the first place?’. and then he stammered like the half wit dead shit he is, and muttered something about physical violence. again, OVER THE PHONE.

    to summarise, those two deserve each other.

  10. Kyle who?Turn off your fucken tv’s

  11. Charlie Says:

    I wish all the comments above and this website were brought to that cunts attention. Why doesn’t he just go off and do us all a favour and actually neck himself like it is suggested above. vyle you’re not entertaining you are a dick head and a massive one at that. I don’t watch any program you’re involved in or listen to you on the radio I just switch the station over. Hearing you for five minutes is enough to turn anybody’s stomach over. What about him trying to use his position to gets his girlfriends record played on radio to give her a boost some years ago. I don’t know the details but sounds like he’d do anything he could for a root.

  12. Felicity Says:

    He is a super prick!

  13. bernardbeers Says:

    What Luke said! Turn em off people and pick up a big heavy book. Then we can all get together and pound that cowardly arsehole with them!

  14. I’d face stab kyle with a smile on my face.

    el 🙂

  15. Ah, yes! Nice site, Lex, very nice indeed! Thanks for the mention.

  16. wow.. I think a little bit of wee just came out then.. so very well said!

  17. Cherax destructor Says:

    Truth be known, he was probably the kid the others gave a massive wedgie and shoved in his own locker at school. The venomous little cunt’s been trying to get even with the world ever since!

  18. This latest public radio exploitation of a young girl who was raped only confirms further (how much proof do we need!?) that this cunt needs to be smashed, healed in traction, and smashed again several times over before finally being stoned publicly (I’d gladly pay to participate) for all to see on national TV. What a disgraceful pathetic cunt. Kyle if you ever read this, please DIE CUNT you are no more than a hollow shell masking a stinking rotten cess pool of corrupt slimy filth.

  19. OMG I love you Buck!

  20. Your blog entries take on a whole new context when you’re used to the meaning of the colloquialism ‘smash’ to be ‘have sex with’

  21. yep, kyle is king lof the cuntheads, no question bout that

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