10 People I’d Love To Smash – #5

#5: Ben Affleck

I think most people, deep down inside, even if they find him attractive, don’t really like Ben Affleck. He is recognized the world over as that arsehole who always plays arseholes in movies. I first saw him in Dazed & Confused – brilliant movie – and took an instant dislike to him. He just smacks of …cunt. He looks like that character in Mall Rats who fucks your girlfriend in the arse, and not just because he played him, but because it’s impossible to believe he’s actually not that much of a bastard. He’s the sort of person who, if you saw him copping a beating in a dark alley, rather than calling for help you’d quietly walk up and ask: Can I have a go?

 Pearl Harbour was a cunt of a film and he was shit in it, absolute shit – that song in Team America is completely justified! Daredevil, Gigli and Surviving Christmas are some of the worst films ever inflicted on the world, and again, there’s Affleck cunting it up like the shit-coated fuckbag he is.

 I’ve done a bit of research on him in preparation for this rant and, in truth, he seems remarkably well-liked and respected. He supports good causes and does a great deal to try and make life better for others. However, many people still hate his guts, not for anything he’s actually done but more because he looks like a loathsome piece of smug shit. On a purely aesthetic level, he’s a bum-chin-big-stupid-jaw bastard, he reeks of smashworthiness and I’d love to punch him right in his stupid head. Yeah, he’d probably kick my arse, but then I’d be certain he’s a bastard! Get fucked, Ben Affleck!

 Snow shovel? That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

8 Responses to “10 People I’d Love To Smash – #5”

  1. YES!

    Oh my god he is a tool..!

  2. I’ve been reading all your posts, and they are all really good. Good except for this one. Yes he is a tool, but unlike in your other posts, you lack verification as to why you hate him so much. You hate the way he looks, his acting, what?

    Other than that he is a tool, I just hate the way he looks… but Pearl Harbor was a good movie, and so was Dogma, douchebagedness aside.

  3. yes he irrates the fuck out of me, but i love dogma, (he does play a cunt after all), and mallrats (again he plays a cunt), and good will hunting. almost a cameo.

    but seriously, fuck pearl harbour, shit movie, shit acting, and not even close to based on fact. and don’t get me started on daredevil, fave comic book hero completely fucked by enormously uncool actor.

  4. I’m confused as to why it is that in TWO movies (Chasing Amy & Gigli) he has played a character that has “converted” a lesbian. If you’re gay, YOU’RE GAY. I know in Chasing Amy, she was a bisexual, but I don’t recall that in Gigli. Why do movie producers think it’s a good idea to promote the idea that sexuality is a choice? This just reminds me of the religious anti-gay nuts who want to pray sexuality away. I’m pissed off about this because I grew up in an overly religious environment. As well, TWO movies about this? One, OK, but TWO is too much.

  5. Accidents Will Happen Says:

    Dude, Peal Harbor was a piss-poor waste of time with cool explosions. It was like Days of our Lives with an ammo budget. PISS-poor. Embarassing. But yeah, Dogma is fucking kick arse.

  6. ALL OF HOLLYWOOD IS JUST BLAND …NOTHING NEW OR GOOD ..NO RISK ..JUST ACTORS OF MIXED INTERBREEDING …..IF THEY COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW…..IN THE WORDS OF HERMANN G ..” ……. YOU CAN CALL ME MEYER “

  7. OH….YOU KNOW HERMANN GRESTY ….WORKS AT THE BOTTLE SHOP AT CRONULLA

  8. IM GOING …GOODBYE ………..FOREVER……..I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH

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