Human Vs. Train – A Fair Contest?

While the vast majority of people nowadays instantly recognise cars, trucks and buses as potentially lethal and do their best to avoid being hit by them, it seems an increasing (or perhaps decreasing) number of people in the Australian state of Victoria seem NOT to perceive the same level of danger in trains.

During my commute home on Thursday night, the train I was on braked sharply as it approached Springvale Station and ground to a halt. After a suitable period of confusion the passengers were all asked to disembark. Evidently, a group of youths keen to catch the last train home had run across the tracks in front of it. The slowest of their number was struck and killed. Nice work, fuckwit! I thought as I began the walk home.

Now, I have no idea of the identity of the person killed, I haven’t managed to find the incident reported anywhere. I realise that no-one reports on the numerous suicides on train lines as they don’t want to promote a free service that would further disrupt an already atrociously unreliable PT system. I was, however, curious that this incident escaped public notice, not that it really matters given there seems a whole tribe of ballbags ready to step up to the spotlight and die from pure unadulterated fuckheadedness.

 To illustrate, in the past few weeks in Victoria alone, check this out:

  • 10th March – a lone nob-end drives his car in front of a passenger train between Nunawading and Mitcham Stations killing himself.
  • 24th March – A family of five drive their 4WD in front of a train near Geelong and come off pretty well with three out of the five surviving – strength in numbers.
  • 26th March – 59 year old fuckstick Laurie Heffernan laughs off his brush with death after walking away from the wreckage of his car after running it into a train he hadn’t seen.
  • 3rd April – Some little tool gets gooshed at Springvale but who the fuck knows whether that’s true, maybe the family was paid off by Connex, maybe the journos were all asleep, maybe Buck’s full of shit.

Hell, I don’t care if people want to take themselves out of the gene pool Darwin Awards style – even if they don’t possess the imagination to do it in an interesting way, it’s less fuckwits that I have to deal with. I does give me the shits a bit when I have to walk half an hour home, but the real problem I have is the endless pissing and moaning that goes on after these events. Ooooh, level crossings are dangerous. Or: Oh no, the trains are hurting the people, what can we do? Simple answer: Get out of the fucking way!

Transport Minister Lynn Kosky came under fire for daring to suggest drivers should watch where they were going following the family smash while The Opposition and various other useless fuckbags suggested a huge outlay of public money to build infrastructure to prevent licensed drivers who should never have passed their Hazard Perception Tests from writing themselves off.

Why should we spend millions upon millions of taxpayer dollars on boom-gates and ever more elaborate warning systems to save idiots from the laws of physics? Fuck it, what next? What about people getting hit by cars? Protect pedestrians by making everyone wear helmets and body armour to cross the road? Only build cars out of nerf? What ever happened to: TOUGH SHIT?

For fuck’s sake, it’s pretty basic: Trains are big, heavy and made of metal – you, at least relatively, are small, soft and fleshy with just a few white sticks in you so you make a decent crunch when mashed. There’s no contest, the train will always win. Even with the protection of a motor vehicle, which makes many people feel invincible, you’re just a chicken hotpack against…I don’t know…a BMX bike?

There’s no fucking reason why the government should pander to the stupidest common denominator. Fuck them. Let them fucking die. I know it’s sad when a family member’s life is cut short, even if they’re a complete imbecile, but get fuckin’ real. Just because yet another wanker has FAILed doesn’t mean we should penalise everyone who does have a brain. The stupid fuckers walking and driving in front of trains should be the thinking, but they’re not, and they won’t. They’re not because they’re fucking idiots and they won’t because they’re all fucking dead…well, except lucky pricks like Laurie.

In the interest of community service and a fair go for all I offer this message to the people of Victoria: If you are going to cross train tracks, whether on foot or in/on some form of vehicle. Be it skateboard, bicycle, car, bus, truck, 4WD or even Hummer please: LOOK BOTH WAYS. If you see a big shiny thing, or the lights of a possibly big shiny thing, STOP. Let it pass. You’ll feel much better if you don’t spread yourself too thin, and spreading yourself along 800m of steel is too thin.

6 Responses to “Human Vs. Train – A Fair Contest?”

  1. YOu fkn rock! Love the post! keep up ur frustrations here!

  2. How true is that… I’m all for a bit of gene-pool thinning myself. If you’re too dumb to realise a train is coming when all the lights are flashing… well all power to you, step ahead sunshine.

    I was at a level crossing the other day with flashy lights and sirens going, and this pair of dills decide to run across the track in front of the train. Now the train was only just starting out of the station so not going that fast, but the silly woman got her high heel stuck in the track and fell over, IN FRONT of the train, and the driver had to jam on the brakes to avoid hitting her. Then the pair of them walked away laughing! HOW THICK do you have to be before you die from this???

  3. If you think about it if they’re doing this with trains, then they’re doing this all the time. So they’re likely to do something that gets other people killed. In which case, if they get killed first, that’s innocent lives saved.

  4. Wernardt Says:

    Dont’ worry. If you think those people are stupid, here in South Africa they spend millions on building concrete bridges over major roads and highways so that the people living in the shacks on both sides can pass over safely.

    Only, their shack villages…excuseme…informal settlements..stretch for about 1 kilometer either side of the pass-over bridge and they are too lazy and too stupid to walk parallel to the road to the pedestrian bridge onramp, so they cross the highway/major road just 1000m down from the bridge intended for this purpose.

    Usually they also do this at night. And without being a racist, it’s very fucking hard to see a black person crossing a road at night. Needless to say there is much mourning and lamenting when they bury their dead friends who didn’t look to see if the shiny lights are approaching before they stroll across a bloody highway.

    *sigh* the sooner stupid people are removed from the genepool entirely the sooner these things will stop happening.

    The reason it hasn’t happened long ago is because of these happy hippy idiots who see some darwin award candidate stepping infront of an oncoming bus. And then instead of letting natural fucking selection take its course, they cheat Darwin out of an Honourable Kill (as they are called in gaming) and shout to these sacks of grain “Watch out! It’s a fucking bus!”.

    And this is the undoing of the world.

  5. Hear fucking hear.

  6. Your the biggest fuckwit , Oh poor lard ass you had to walk home. I was just on a train where someone killed themselves, they jumped off a bridge as my train passed under it.

    I was in the first carriage, it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I had to put up with assholes, probably like yourself who complained about oh now we have to wait three hours, oh i’m hungry…..Mean while someone fucking died. They felt so desperate and alone that they felt they had no option…..probably because of assholes like you.

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