McDonald’s – Corporate Paedophiles


Baby Ronald

Fuck you, McDonald’s, you cunts! You pedlars of clown food, you corporate paedophiles. You purveyors of obesity for the masses. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!

There are so many reasons to hate a company like McDonald’s. Nowadays it’s more mainstream to hate them than it is to eat their food. Not that their business is suffering any – amazing considering the bad press and the docos. I mean, we all know their food has little more nutritional worth going in than it does on the way out. We all know that most of the people who claim to eat the healthy options are just lying to cover their burger-shame. We all know that the McMarketing Machine has spent the last few decades dedicated to indoctrinating children to lust after a potentially lethal diet, and that they’ve done so by selling shit in the guise of fun, friends, toys and a dodgy-looking clown.

Even the tobacco companies (when they were allowed to advertise) had the decency to aim their product at adults who, at least in theory, have the ability to think for themselves. What the hell kind of society lets a corporation make its coin poisoning children. I realise a lone cheeseburger never killed anyone, but the constant barrage of advertising across mass media has more impact on young minds than anyone dares speak about – perhaps for fear of being sued, but most probably because they’re too busy stuffing their holes with double quarter pounders and telling their hyperactive offspring to shut the fuck up and eat their fries.

But seriously, McDonald’s is a good corporate citizen. They don’t do super-size anymore. For fuck’s sake! Ronald McDonald House and an Olympic logo buy forgiveness for everything else. What the fuck? Even religion can’t manage scams like that. The church offers salvation and eternal life – still we still get upset when they finger the kiddies. McDonald’s bandy some logos around and show us a clown and we’ll happily buy morbid obesity and arse cancer for our kids with a plastic toy to promote some fucking movie we don’t want to see.

Why is there no Responsible Serving Of Food Legislation? Currently in Australia, people selling alcohol have to, by law, be certified that they are responsible in who they serve it to, and under what circumstances. Why should this not apply to food service too? Hah! That’d be great. I can just see a pimply teenager saying to the 25-stone behemoth at the counter: I’m sorry sir, I think you’ve had enough. Or: I can serve you but the little girl’s gonna have to leave, she’s just too big, mate. Can you imagine the outcry? All the fatties of the world would unite in a great chorus of: But it’s glandular! Glandular? Bullshit! You’re a gluttonous fat cunt, you’re stuffing your face every chance you get and weeping into your cheesecake. You’re a family-size food-junkie who’s shaping up to bankrupt the health system! I’m just big boned. Get fucked! When was the last time bones obscured your genitalia? The reason you don’t see it is because they’ve been fucking you since you were born.The clown is not your friend, he is killing you.

Why aren’t people up in arms about McDonald’s? Why aren’t the fuckers getting petrol-bombed? Is it apathy or just indoctrination? If you care at all I urge you: write to your MP, pass petitions around your to friends, families and colleagues, let the powers-that-be know that advertising to children is WRONG and shouldn’t be tolerated in a civilised society. We need companies like McDonald’s regulated before they turn our country into a nation of mindless, shit-sucking, fat bastards. Hmmm, maybe too late for that.

Does anyone remember Stephen King’s It? Wanna Big Mac, Georgie? They float. They all float and when you’re as fat as a fuckin’ house and they flush your bloated carcass out to sea to keep the Japanese off the whales, YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!

25 Responses to “McDonald’s – Corporate Paedophiles”

  1. even if you had a point which you probably dont, i didn’t get it b/c i didnt think reading through all those f words was worth it. expand your vocabulary.

  2. Buck Frain Says:

    I welcome criticism, Sal, especially when it is so well thought out and punctuated. I think perhaps you’d prefer visiting Buck Frain’s Multi-syllabic-nice-polite-cup-of-tea-with-the-bishop-feeling-terribly-happy Place.

  3. hay sal

  4. What about Camel tobacco who were famously taken to court and sued for millions for using a cartoon camel to ensure brand recognisability with children?

    Parents are responsible for saying yes and no to their children. Mc Donalds provide a service, i personally love it! and am perfect weight for my height. I enjoy McDonalds as a treat, if anything its the greed of the obese of this world who have ruined high fat greasy treats for people like me. If im hungry, i eat a banana or a sandwich…i dont order a large big mac meal and a side order of chicken nuggets and an apple pie!

    You donthave to go there and eat untill your 25 stone. people should stop blaming others and look to themselves for the reason there weight is the way it is.

  5. Kristie-Lee Says:

    Right.. i can understand you are upset about the fact that macca’s food is unhealthy and what not But you have a choose not to eat it.. and yea you have a right to speak your voice but could you do it in a way where Fuck wasn’t in nearly every damm sentence. and people do not have to eat the food. sure the maccas supplies the food but who puts it in there mouths.. the people who buy it. so don’t go critising maccas people can go get subway if they dont like it..

  6. Wow.
    You can seriously be that conceited?
    McDonalds is a resauraunt, and the goal of opening a resauraunt is to make money. They arent going up to children and offering them crack. ITS FOOD. Like shit child, how much anger can you have towards one group of people. If people decide to eat themselves silly, and that makes them happy, then FUCK YOU for saying its wrong.

  7. Im gonna have to disagree with most of the comments made on here Im afraid. Its too easy to say people shouldnt buy or eat this stuff, but if you knew what kind of money these big companies put in to Advertising and Im actually talking about some serious hypnotic shite. Ever wonder why when you see a big mac on the TV it looks so amazing and symetric. Try to order one from Mc D’s. Guaranteed it will be wonky and sloppy. lol. Thats just the tip of the ice berg really. You guys need to read a book called “The weight loss Cure they dont want you to know about” By Kevin Trudeau. you will then see how deep the rabbits hole really goes. Wake up people, your owned and dont even know it. Buck Frain, keep telling it like it is…


  8. ColeCole Says:

    I think it is you that need to wake up Mike…
    we all know those burgers on TV aren’t the burgers you get.

    secondly..if its such a problem why don’t you try prying you kid away from the television. Out-of-site, out-of-mind.

    McD does target kids, your right. and so does every other fucking company that exists.

    Do you know why? because kids have the most disposable income. If anyone actually gave a shit. they would teach their children responsibility. and not stick a hamburger in their mouth instead of a soother.

    McDonalds should be made to produce more responsible advertising then again so should every company in existence.

    But the thing that really gets me is the people that produce this crap are the same ones whining about that fact that their 8 year old had a heart attack.

    its really easy to blame a faceless corporation. but what isn’t alwasy easy is to look in the mirror.

  9. Mike, the burgers you see on advertisements are perfectly symmetrical because professionals are hired to set them up. All food advertisers use this. The burgers on ads are actually held together using pins and other methods.

    I’d rather have my burger look like a badly shuffled deck of cards than wait 4 hours for it to be made symmetrical.

  10. Professor Pants Says:

    Theres alot of comments from angry fat people…

    Austin can you seriously be so stupid?
    It’s not crack its food?? Obesity is an epidemic! People die from being obese. Kids who grow up fat because there parents bought them too many McShit burgers have no self esteem, have trouble losing the wieght once they’re older and eventually die young from diabetes, high colesterol, heart disease etc. that results from being fat.
    Also eating the food doesn’t make them happy, they go home and cry about what a fat bastard they are.

    To everybody upset about the language; If swearing offends you, don’t read a blog by somebody called buck frain!! You fat bastards.

  11. This is spot on. Finally someone getting upset and calling out the obvious. Lazy and uneducated consumers and a culture where corporations have more rights than citizens leads to this sad state. So many things could be improved by a little self control from over burdened health care to rain forest destruction and global warming. Everyone get upset at the F word and then go back to sleep while the world burns. Thank god for church and television or we would actually have to think for oursleves!

  12. In 1820 USA, someone ranted against human slavery and citizens stood up and told him to stop using bad words.
    In 1905, someone went off demanding women have the right to vote and the many said to stop being so angry.
    In 1970 someone was caught fucking dogs in the arse but they said it was just a treat and to back off.

    In an insane world, the insane feel they are sane and the sane are labeled insane. Thankfully there are those that shout out about the pathetic selfish homo sapiens and thankfully again he is funny as hell. I mean…”When was the last time bones obscured your genitalia? ” is pure observational genius and many do not like truth.

    Over here in the states we have been led by a simple minded idiot for 8 years supported by war mongering, SUV driving, McDonald’s eating fatties who think a flag bathing suit is patriotic. I am sad to see we are not the only land full of hateful simpletons.

    If a man is in step with society he is a fellow citizen, one step ahead a leader, but two steps ahead and he a radical to be shouted down!

    Every moral battle faces the same selfish and simpleminded resistance. We will either overcome our greed, overconsumption, and blood lust or perish.

    Thank you for trying to show a better path in your own unique way…
    Keep up the good fight!

  13. How about, “lose some weight, and you’ll get your allowance back”. Does it really have to be more complicated than that?

  14. a really satifsfying angry article :). i agree it isn’t ideal that children are being indoctrinated by television adverts, particularly ones that promote unhealthy eating. but collectively people are fairly stupid and will damage themselves somehow anyway – and the damage is caused by the overeating of food from places like McDonald’s NOT by eating it occasionally.

    it’s the lifestyle choice which is at fault and someone’s descent into being so fat they can’t see their genitals (charming example from the article) can’t be caused by the odd Happy Meal. it’s when parents give them the idea that food is a Mcdonald’s meal rather than that a Mcdonald’s meal is food that the problems start.

    and i might add, please don’t “petrol bomb the fuckers”…my workplace…:) there aren’t all that many “behemoths” amongst the customers and none amongst the staff (even though many of us eat it several times a week, which might give some indication the food isn’t as unhealthy as it’s made out to be). but serious, THE CLOWN IS NOT CONSPIRING AGAINST YOU. btw im from uk, so maybe the situation is slightly different dunno…but it’s all the same giant fast food corporation anyway…

  15. i work at mcodnalds lol ,, ur talking like the food is really unhealthy its not

    for instance cheeseburger
    beef patty
    tomato ketchup

    same but without cheese

    big mac
    sesame seeded crown bun
    x2 beef patty
    mac sauce
    2x pickle
    1 slice of cheese

    quarter pounder
    quarter beef burger
    sesame seeded bun
    sliced onions
    2x pickle
    x2 cheese

    big tasty with bacon
    3:1 angus beef burger
    tasty sauce
    sliced onions
    20g squared lettuce
    2 tomato slices
    3 emental cheese slices
    4 pieces of small bacon

    fuck sake people this is the contents of their food it isnt unhealthy ,,, u proberly make a fry up at home n think yeh this is alright , but you would hesitate to buy a mcdonalds because you think its unhealthy

    the burgers are cooked between 2 hot plates
    most of the fat is drained out

    i have a mcdonalds 3 times a week

    and i go for the big tasty wi bacon with fries and a coke, and have a milkshake just before i finish work

    i have to say i am not fat i aint gained weight from mcdons, im skinny lol

    if owt the worst thing mcdonalds is anything with chicken because that is deep fried

    but as far as the beef burgers are concerned, it isnt bad for your health,,, stop exagurating (the guy who made this page ) talking like eating a burger is like eating a tonne of lard

    but what i dont get is

    people would go to fish n chip shop n see that as been alrite

    go to local sani shop n order sausage bacon sani etc

    see this as been alrite

    order a curry from takeaway

    eat chocolate crisps sweets fizzy pop

    drink alcohol all time

    eat fried food at home


    • i work at mcdonalds too. calm the fuck down guys mcdonalds is awesome!!! i love the food and tbh this article is shit. shut the fuck up mcdonalds is top your just pissed off because youv fucked up your own life and have nothing better to do than moan about shit. smoke a reefa, eat a mac and piss off

  16. Ha! Dude I got this because it was posted on a facebook group. Nice rant, so fuckin’ true. Not all of it was fair rhetoric of course- but its your angry blog yea? 🙂

  17. fuck u u filthp dogs … maccas rocks … go back to your shitty hungry jacks

  18. McDonald’s makes me feel physically drained and sick after I eat it (a rare occasion). I wonder why?

    Just because you can see what the burger is made up of when it’s put together (bun, beef patty, tomato sauce, cheese, onion) doesn’t mean that’s all there is to it. What happens to these things before they get to you? Nevermind the fat, they have chemical additives. A Maccas monkey may not put the chemicals into the bun or the patty, but they don’t make everything from scratch, so you can’t really speak unless you’ve seen everything that goes on. I haven’t, but here anyway:
    It’s not nourishment. As the article says, it’s just filling the extra space in your tummy, that’s all.

    Anyway.. Eck, they made me watch Supersize Me in school, so disgusting.

  19. HanBanan Says:

    OK, yes McDonalds is bad for you. EVERYONE knows it, but we continue to consume. Why?

    A) FAST FOOD in a FASTER-IS-BETTER world. People are always on the go. NO fast food is actually good for you. If you can pick it up through a drive-through, it’s going to clog your arteries and make you fat. It’s the price you pay to get your food in under five minutes. Patience is dead these days.

    B) Subliminal Messaging. Even so, every corporation selling anything uses it to push their product. It’s a weak arguement.

    C) Kids prefering taste over nutritional value. Kids don’t care if it’ll make them obese. They want stuff that tastes good. AND since parents spoil their brats, they’ll give them anything that they want to get them to eat and shut up. [MAKE YOU’RE KIDS EAT RIGHT. You’re four-year-old can’t put his/her own pants on let alone decide for themselves what’s good for them. That’s your job as a parent.]

    Pretty much every reason falls back on the idiots that put in their order. FUCKIN’ A. It’s OUR fault. If you don’t go to fast food places and refuse to support them… Get your friends and family to do the same… and if EVERYONE does it… they go under. Or your ass just doesn’t get fat. Make a PB&J at home.

    And people don’t excersize anymore. That’s more cause for obesity than what we put in our mouths. You eat a BigMac, go run it off. Order McNuggets? Get on the stationary bike. It’s not a complicated concept. Fat isn’t permanent, unless you keep it that way.


    [The rant made me laugh! lol I’d like to say thanks for brightening my day with a lovely arguement and a funny blog.]

  20. I don’t eat at McDonalds because I decide not to. Wow! a gift you apparently believe to be possessed by very few. If someone gets fat because he or she eats an unhealthy diet, then it is their own darn fault. I sliced my finger the other day while chopping onions. I didn’t cuss the maker of the knife. I realized that I was not paying adequate attention to what I was doing. Wow it was my own fault. There are no bad foods, just bad diets. Life is tough, it’s alot tougher when you’re stupid.

  21. Get over yourself… kind of a jerk I think. If you don’t want to eat at McDonalds you don’t have to.

  22. mickey farrer Says:

    ronald mcdonald, santa claus, tooth fairy and the easter bunny. all fucking ideas.
    ronald macdonald ..convicted cholestoral laden fat fuck rock spider
    santa claus a dead set cunt who couldnt fit in his ronal mcdonal suit anymore. fucking rockspider
    tooth fairy middle aged unemployed fucking drag queen
    easter bunny a 75 year old playboy bunny

    fuck em

  23. Come off it ‘Danny the McDonald Peon’!
    Without the disgusting fucking pickle in all of McDonald’s burgers, they’d be labeled as CONFECTIONERY! And that’s a fact!
    “Mmm! Dessert for dinner!”

    And you say you’re not gaining weight? Come off it. Surly even you’d know that some people have extremely high metabolisms!?!

    GOD! Some people’s blind faith in corporations really pisses me off.

    What you people have to realize, is that McDonald’s is a company. They are not interested in giving you healthy food. They are not interested in the charities they support for any other reason than publicity.
    And they are certainly not interested in the detrimental and downright dangerous effects they are having on children!

    No points for guessing what their goal is at the end of the year.

    Buck Frain, this was a great blog, and I gotta say. That clown baby creeps the FUCK out of me!
    Cheer’s mate!

    Oh! And what’s wrong with fuck? It’s the only word that you can make a sentence entirely out of, and it remains grammatical!

  24. I’ve decided to buck the trend and write a short comment. Macca’s is shyte…fin

    actually hotcakes are the tits the rest is shyte….real fin!

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