Archive for March, 2008

McDonald’s – Corporate Paedophiles

Posted in Rage Against The Machine with tags , , , on March 26, 2008 by Buck Frain

 

Baby Ronald

Fuck you, McDonald’s, you cunts! You pedlars of clown food, you corporate paedophiles. You purveyors of obesity for the masses. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!

There are so many reasons to hate a company like McDonald’s. Nowadays it’s more mainstream to hate them than it is to eat their food. Not that their business is suffering any – amazing considering the bad press and the docos. I mean, we all know their food has little more nutritional worth going in than it does on the way out. We all know that most of the people who claim to eat the healthy options are just lying to cover their burger-shame. We all know that the McMarketing Machine has spent the last few decades dedicated to indoctrinating children to lust after a potentially lethal diet, and that they’ve done so by selling shit in the guise of fun, friends, toys and a dodgy-looking clown.

Even the tobacco companies (when they were allowed to advertise) had the decency to aim their product at adults who, at least in theory, have the ability to think for themselves. What the hell kind of society lets a corporation make its coin poisoning children. I realise a lone cheeseburger never killed anyone, but the constant barrage of advertising across mass media has more impact on young minds than anyone dares speak about – perhaps for fear of being sued, but most probably because they’re too busy stuffing their holes with double quarter pounders and telling their hyperactive offspring to shut the fuck up and eat their fries.

But seriously, McDonald’s is a good corporate citizen. They don’t do super-size anymore. For fuck’s sake! Ronald McDonald House and an Olympic logo buy forgiveness for everything else. What the fuck? Even religion can’t manage scams like that. The church offers salvation and eternal life – still we still get upset when they finger the kiddies. McDonald’s bandy some logos around and show us a clown and we’ll happily buy morbid obesity and arse cancer for our kids with a plastic toy to promote some fucking movie we don’t want to see.

Why is there no Responsible Serving Of Food Legislation? Currently in Australia, people selling alcohol have to, by law, be certified that they are responsible in who they serve it to, and under what circumstances. Why should this not apply to food service too? Hah! That’d be great. I can just see a pimply teenager saying to the 25-stone behemoth at the counter: I’m sorry sir, I think you’ve had enough. Or: I can serve you but the little girl’s gonna have to leave, she’s just too big, mate. Can you imagine the outcry? All the fatties of the world would unite in a great chorus of: But it’s glandular! Glandular? Bullshit! You’re a gluttonous fat cunt, you’re stuffing your face every chance you get and weeping into your cheesecake. You’re a family-size food-junkie who’s shaping up to bankrupt the health system! I’m just big boned. Get fucked! When was the last time bones obscured your genitalia? The reason you don’t see it is because they’ve been fucking you since you were born.The clown is not your friend, he is killing you.

Why aren’t people up in arms about McDonald’s? Why aren’t the fuckers getting petrol-bombed? Is it apathy or just indoctrination? If you care at all I urge you: write to your MP, pass petitions around your to friends, families and colleagues, let the powers-that-be know that advertising to children is WRONG and shouldn’t be tolerated in a civilised society. We need companies like McDonald’s regulated before they turn our country into a nation of mindless, shit-sucking, fat bastards. Hmmm, maybe too late for that.

Does anyone remember Stephen King’s It? Wanna Big Mac, Georgie? They float. They all float and when you’re as fat as a fuckin’ house and they flush your bloated carcass out to sea to keep the Japanese off the whales, YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!

Aussie Royalty.

Posted in Boof-head Sporto Fuckwits with tags , , , , , , , , on March 18, 2008 by Buck Frain

Wayne Carey

Fucking Wayne Carey! What a thoroughly reprehensible human being. The man known as “The King” when he played football. Beloved of football fans all over the country, disgraced himself toward the end of his career by sleeping with his “best mate’s” and teammate’s wife. Finally fizzled away from the oval to be reborn into a lucrative media career.

He loses his media career due to very publicly outing himself as a violent degenerate, beating his girlfriend, attacking police and having to be subdued with capsicum spray. But that’s just the most recent in a long list of incidents. The regularly hanging out with prominent Melbourne underworld figures, the $15,000 paid to hush up a sexual harassment case, the time he smashed a wine glass in his girlfriend’s face in the U.S. and narrowly escaped serious legal repercussions there.

But this is the way of it: narrowly escaping. Why “escaping” at all? Because he’s a celebrity, a sporting hero, an Aussie legend. The proof of the pudding is that New Idea apparently just paid him somewhere around $200,000 to tell the pissing sob-story of his harrowing substance abuse problem. Not apologising for being a misogynist violent bastard, just: boo-hoo poor Wayney likes his coke.

Now here’s why I’m pissed off. I don’t care if he does drugs – who gives a shit, he can afford it and an adult should be able to do whatever they want to their own body. I could possibly even forgive the violence if, and only if, he wanted to stop it and acknowledged that it was a problem and his problem and not just fob it off as aww gee, I was off me tits! But where the whole thing becomes truly evil is where he makes $200,000 out of such anti-socil behaviour. He profits, and tidily too, for bashing his partner and punching on with the cops. Why? Because he’s rich, he’s famous and he’s really good-looking too – don’t forget that, I mean if you’re gonna get beaten up by someone how lucky would you be to cop a bashing from The King? Isn’t that what all girls dream of?

God knows, Carey’s not the only one. Didn’t Ablett inadvertently kill a girl his son went to school with after they got loaded up on pills together in a seedy hotel rootfest? And how many rape scandals have been hushed up across all the major codes of football? How many brawling incidents make the news but result in no meaningful penalty?

The world’s a violent place and people are flawed. I know. I accept that. What I can’t accept is that there are no real consequences for people like Wayne Carey. They are above the rest of us. When was the last time a sports star did serious time? I don’t remember one. The team comes in, the lawyers come in and the money goes out. Witnesses get paid off or threatened into withdrawing their allegations.

The whole thing makes me fucking sick to my stomach. What are we telling our children? What are we telling our Australian sons and daughters? Hey son, kick the footy, run fast, be good at sport and then one day the world will be yours. Fuck learning, fuck thinking, fuck values. If you get good at sport you’ll have it made. You’ll get all the drugs you’ll ever want, you can go and gang-rape girls with your mates, you can bash chicks, bash blokes and even smash the cops. Nothing will ever happen to you. There won’t be any consequences, you’ll still be rich, people will pay you more just to hear your story. You’ll be invincible. And after it’s all over, the sports bars will still be filled with nubile, naïve young girls with stars in their eyes, ready to bow down before the altar of a sports superhero, faded or not, and get the living Jesus reamed out of them before getting their heads kicked in. Hey, daughter, you know you could do a lot worse than getting fucked by The King – he is an Aussie legend.

 

If anyone ever deserved to die pants-down on the fucking toilet, it’s Carey.